Thursday, July 31, 2008

Everything pink.

Ever since we pumped Kadyn up to move in her new pink room several months ago, the pink thing has been consuming her. She has now gotten to where she asks for everything in pink.

Me: Kadyn what flavor icecream do you want?
Kadyn: I want pink one

Kadyn: I'm checking my email mama
Me: You are?
Kadyn: A pink one

Me: I'm making chicken Kadyn
Kadyn: I want pink one
Me: You want pink chicken? It doesn't come in pink

I put plates out on the table for all the kids and Kadyn insists she eats the plate with the pink fork. I guess Jeff didn't realize he was starting a pink monster when he so eagerly pumped up the idea of having a PINK room several months ago. It humors me most of the time. Will the child ever tire of pink? She is such a girl!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Blows my mind

No folks, we did not get a partially new fence. The fencing on the left is exactly the same age as the fencing on the right. The difference.....spectacular. The secret....power washer. Jeff got to borrow one and he is going nuts with the thing. It's amazing the difference eh? Now we just have to figure out if we stain it, will it warp the board? We can't power wash the other side because we would be going into our neighbor's yards to do so and they all have chain length fencing butted up next to our fence. So, any brain nerds out there know if we just stain the one side, will it warp the boards?

Budding talents and buddies

Jeff is slowly morphing Kadyn into the son he hasn't had. He was quite proud when Kadyn attempted to play her keyboard and guitar at the same time and just recently bought her her own golf set. The other pics are Kadyn and her daycare buddies, "the boys." Enjoy!

Funny things they say.

Kadyn has said some things lately that I was sharing with my mother-in-law (which ironically was the only mom to call me on my birthday, tisk, tisk) last night on the phone. She asked me if I had written them down so I didn't forget them. I usually do write these things down but have yet too and thought what better way to document them this time around than this blog. Now before I share, I just want to forewarn that I am the type of mother who doesn't want her child to think of her body parts as naughty. To some, it might seem offending that I even taught my daughter these things, to me it's just part of life that we shouldn't be ashamed of.

Now I really got you curious huh? Well here goes the story. Some time ago I was changing one of the boys and Kadyn pointed to the male anatomy as if to ask, "What is that?" Now she has seen one of these for some time now since I have been watching these boys for a year and a half now and changed their diapers a million times in front of her. I think it finally dawned on her that it probably had a name. At the time I didn't know if I was carrying a boy or not and figured she might be seeing a lot more of them if I did have a boy, so I decided to tell her it was a penis and that only boys have them. We talked a little bit about how mommy and her didn't have one but all the boys have them at the daycare. She shared her newfound knowledge with Jeff that night (he seemed a little weirded out that I taught her that). Then nothing more was said. Some time later she was laying on the couch with her buddy Liam kicking her feet up in the air exclaiming, "Shake your penis! Shake your penis!" I just about died.

Last week I was talking to Kadyn about the baby coming and figured it would be a good time to talk about how I would be feeding the baby. She has never seen a woman nurse before so I knew she would be curious when it happened. A friend of mine visited that weekend and she exclaimed. "Mommy have baby in tummy. Milk come out mommy boob at Christmas time!" Again, I just about died.

We have been working with Kadyn on how to put up two fingers to show that she is two years old. This is a more difficult feet than one would imagine. Anyways, to make it more fun so she would practice more, I called them "two bunny ears." When daddy asked Kadyn last night how old I was, she held up her two little fingers and said, "Mommy two bunny ears!"

Last story.....Jeff went shopping with Kadyn for my birthday several times last week. One evening when I came home from a little outing of my own, she exclaimed, "Mommy, mommy, we got you bird day card and CDs!" Jeff didn't even think to tell her what a secret was and that it was supposed to be a secret. A lesson I think I'll remember come Christmas time if Kadyn shops with me for daddy.

So there you have it. My cute stories that I want documented so I won't forget. I LOVE age of two. Kids really do say the funniest things.

Monday, July 28, 2008


It's my birthday! 31 years of existence. Sucks, however, how the older you get the more they just seem like any other day. Daycare kids are here and everything is like a normal day. I think we're going out to eat tonight so that will be nice. I already got my presents, mostly because Kadyn spilled the beans. I got pot holders, new silverware, and 3 new CD's. I always want practical things. Seems silly to waste money on other things.

So anyways, happy birthday me! Another year down.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Where in the world?

All week I have been unpacking old baby clothes into the baby's room. I just finished my last box. Each box I opened I eagerly anticipated finding the outfit Kadyn came home from in the hospital. It is probably my favorite one. I just finished my last box and it never showed up. Where in the world did I put it? How awful to loose such a keepsake. I planned on getting a new one for the new baby so I could hand each of the girls their own outfits for their little darlings someday. I guess if Kadyn's outfit never shows up it will just have to remain memorialized in her baby announcement and nothing more. How sad!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What happened?

Kadyn has NEVER been scared of thunder or storms. In fact she always used to think thunder was funny exclaiming "Jesus make thuna!" every time she heard it. Then for no apparent reason she decided she was very scared of it today. It was sooo bizarre. I don't understand why the change. It happened around nap time and I tried to just let her cry it out for awhile to make sure she wasn't just yanking my chain. After about 10 minutes I decided it was a genuine fear so I had to go back into her room and explain to her that Jesus makes thunder, and with thunder comes rain to water the plants and grass and that thunder can't hurt us etc. etc. I put on her nature sounds CD, and left the door cracked which I told her I would do as long as she didn't cry and finally she calmed down and went to sleep. I hope this doesn't happen again.

Today I felt a huge nesting urge. I just had to reorganize my entire house. I lifted furniture which was way too heavy, and I probably shouldn't have done. Now my back is sore and the kids have black feet from walking through all the dirt I found under the furniture. I was a bit worried about the baby afterwards of course, but alas I felt little pokes and kicks this afternoon. So all in all I'm still glad I did it. It feels so good to live in an organized house that doesn't look cluttered. It's amazing how everything has a place and then after you live in it awhile and collect more things you just have to go through and purge some things and reorganize the way you store other things. I still have a lot of work to do on the bathroom and baby's room, but for now, at least the main living areas are done. Ahhhh! Great feelings! I'm so glad I feel motivated to do things again now that the morning sickness has lifted. Now it just seems like a race against time to get it all done before I'm really huge and uncomfortable.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Sugar, and spice, and everything nice

We're having a girl! We were both a little caught off guard because EVERYONE we knew thought it was a boy. Apparently God had other plans for us. I know Jeff was a little disappointed because he wanted a son to golf with but perked up when our doctor informed us that dad's can caddy for their daughters but not their sons on professional golf tournaments. All in all he is just happy the baby seems healthy and doesn't oppose the idea of having another girl to call "daddy's little girl" at all. Kadyn is excited because she has wanted a little sister for a couple weeks now.

I'm excited that I get to use all those cute girl clothes again and that Kadyn will have a sister to bond with. I really hope they do become close. I really do feel more comfortable with girls. Since I watch 3 boys I feel as though I've had a good taste of what a boy would be like and to be honest, the thought of having a boy scares me a bit. However, if there is one in our future should we decide to have more children, I'm sure I'll love him just as much. Jeff isn't too sure how to feel about a third child yet. The thought of having three girls scares him. He commented how he would have to leave the house once a month and how paying for 2 weddings is going to be difficult enough. Time will tell where God leads our hearts in this department. Right now we are happy to having another healthy girl.

So our little pretty in pink, bundle of joy is set to arrive December 11th.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Jeff's turn!

OK I'm making Jeff do this too. Here goes....

1. I want to live on a golf course when I retire, if not sooner
2. I have more CD's than anybody I know
3. My favorite album is by Refused called "The Shape of Punk to Come"
4. I worked on a golf course for 8 years
5. I started working at the age of 14
6. I have worked the following jobs: golf course, coffee shop, music store, radio station, book store, pizza shuttle (although we had a naughty name for it), advertising sales, retail, print and doc services, graphic design, financial services (this does not include many of the musical endeavors of the past)
7. I have met and talked to in person: Vanilla Ice, Digital Underground, Tone Loc, Paul Rudd, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Chris Ledeaux, Keith Urban, Keith Hernandez, too many B grade musicians to name
8. I used to own a record label called Reaction Records
9. I have always wanted to own a scooter again but Darci says that financial Brokers shouldn't pull up to the office on them
10. The first stock I ever owned was Sirius Sattelite Radio
11. I'm ashamed to admit I actually like Darci's pet rat, it was a cool pet surprisingly
12. I had a pet cow before a pet dog
13. I don't like swimming much
14. I've had three serious relationships
15. The most recent one is going on it's 12th year (8 of them in marriage) she's a lucky woman!
16. Becoming a father changed my life
17. I'm excited and nervous about having a kid all over again
18. I'm hoping for a healthy kid but more importantly a boy!
19. I may consider 3 kids if we have another girl, but the idea of having 3 girls doesn't sound too appealing either (I would have to make myself scarce one week out of each month)
20. My favorite vehicle was my 1978 Datsun king cab with the hole in the floor board and the windshield wipers I had to work by hand
21. Someday I hope to have a Audi A6
22. I would like to travel the world over
23. City in the US I'd most like to visit is Seattle
24. My favorite food is pizza
25. I'm a picky eater
26. I'm pretty good at being creative when I cook
27. I would like to retire by the age of 55
28. I would love to have a hole in one sometime in my life
29. I would love for my kids to be involved in music and golf
30. I don't enjoy singing at church, but I'll play drums every Sunday
31. I've had multiple colors of hair including: blue, orange, yellow, blonde, brown, and greenish
32. I have seen over 500 different bands and artists perform in concert ( I stopped counting after 500)
33. I like to mow the grass, instant satisfaction (praise the Lord says Darci)
34. I learn from my mistakes
35. I'm an optimist
36. School was easy for me although I didn't always apply myself
37. I can collectively play drums, guitar, bass, keyboard, and a kazoo
38. I would love to have a house with soundproof room just for my drums
39. Cancel 38, I'd love to have an outbuilding dedicated to my music
40. I am the complete opposite of my dad
41. I am not a homebody
42. My favorite movies include: Fight Club, Rushmore, Almost Famous, The Wedding Singer, Detroit Rock City
43. I put country music on full blast and danced around the house on a stick horse with my daughter
44. I love teaching my daughter funny things to say like "Peace out dude" "Rock on guyeeez" "Um, um, delicious"
45. I recently rediscovered my love for the TV show Alf
46. I'm starting to enjoy music from my past, you know the good stuff like Starship, Huey Lewis and the News, Inxs, New Kids on the Block (just kidding), etc.
47. I love my DVR
48. I had to drive my grandma's car all through college because my truck ran out of oil
49. My first date with Darci was to eat at El Zarape and see the movie "First Wive's Club"
50. I had 3 different radio shows throughout college
51 I've played with 7 different bands: Orange Poodle Juice, Slaphappy, What a Waste, DefJeff and the G-funk Arabs, Burgandy Trail, Ruskabank, Jack Music, Phat Albert
52. I passed all of my financial exams and accreditations with flying colors
53. I am a night owl
54. I do not enjoy being a pushy salesman
55. I love my coffee
56. My favorite TV shows are: House, The Office, CSI, Weeds, Grey's Anatomy, Bones, Entourage
57. I like selling things on Ebay
58. My favorite restaurant is Chipotle
59. My favorite vacation spot so far is Chicago
60. I hate reading fiction
61. I hate car repair
62. I'm probably the only person you know that has a record player
63. I enjoy having to dress up for work
64. I have a built in internal compass
65. I really wonder what the 15 year old version of myself would think of the 30 year old version of myself
66. If money wasn't an object, I would own a much larger home with a swimming pool
67. I like to sleep with my weiner dog (get your mind out of the gutter, I'm serious here!)
68. My favorite thing to do on my time off is revolves around music and golf
69. I've only seen two movies at the theaters this year, Sex and the City, and Kung Fu Panda because I'm a supportive husband and a wonderful dad.
70. I was the English student of the year my senior year in High School
71. I've won 3 awards from the Kansas Broadcast Association
72. My Christmas Gift to my mom and dad was to cut my long hair off my senior year of high school, they cried
73. One of the most scary moments in my life was walking the streets of Chicago with Jon Chase late one evening in the wrong neighborhood in search of a strip club
74. I ate my first funnel cake at Ozzfest in Wichita Kansas at the request of my future wife
75. One of my most embarrassing moments was falling off of a drum throne mid-song in Jazz Band at the GCCC.

There you have it folks! 75 things you may or may not known about Jeff. Thanks again Sarah for the cool idea! Enjoy.

I want to do it too!

My friend Sarah posted 75 things you may or may not know about her and I thought it was such a neat post. I began to wonder, could I possibly come up with 75 things about myself? Am I that interesting of person. So here goes. Thought this would be fun. Hope you don't mind if I copy the idea Sarah. I had fun reading yours.

#1 I'm a homebody although being a mom has made me less so
#2 I love to watch "sex in the city" but feel guilty watching because it isn't exactly wholesome
#3 I love animals but have found that love lessen since I've had my daughter
#4 I wish my relationship with my sister was tighter
#5 I struggle with giving enough of my personal time to God everyday
#6 My second pregnancy has been a lot more emotional for me than my first by far
#7 I almost didn't go through with marrying Jeff on my wedding day, thank the sweet Lord in heaven I did! I'm so lucky!
#8 I have a masters in education that took me only one year to complete but I always feel a little guilty about because it was one of the easiest masters programs to complete so it's not something I like to brag about often. I did it for the pay raise (which I enjoyed for a grand total of one year)
#9 I really wanted three children but am on the fence now whether this next one will be our last
#10 My favorite color is yellow, no blue, no yellow, no blue, I can't decide
#11 I have never desired to have a fancy car, only practical ones
#12 Patience is the area in my life I struggle with the most
#13 In my life I have had the following pets: a horse, a dove, a parakeet, several hamsters, a guinea pig, a couple rabbits, toads, tons of fish, dogs, cats, a gazillion crickets and grasshoppers, ducks, a newt, and a rat.
#14 I still would like to own a cockatiel (spelling) someday but Jeff won't let me
#15 I once locked my keys and my guinea pig in my car on easter day in Great Bend on my way back to college
#16 I took a group of students to Branson to open up for the Haygoods
#17 I taught private violin lessons for over 10 years
#18 I conducted a group of young orchestral players during half of my college days called "The Silver Orchestra" It was a learning orchestra to prepare kids for the "The Gold Orchestra" conducted by my college professor. The Gold orchestra played at Carnegie Hall. I was paid for this and was the first college student to ever take over the orchestra
#19 The Silver Orchestra experience may very well be one of the only reasons I was able to get a job teaching for the Blue Valley School District of KC.
#19 I have mixed emotions about going back to teaching when my kids are older, but can't imagine anything else that would make me happy
#20 I love my fish tank. It is one of my hobbies and my goal is to have two more big tanks someday, 75 gallons, 100 gallons perhaps?
#21 I have only been out of the US 3 times, each time to Mexico
#22 I never wanted to travel much before kids, but sure am looking forward to traveling now that I have them
#23 I have seen all kinds of canyons and terrain on horseback
#24 My most disliked body part is my nose, I have always obssessed about how ugly it is and used to be convinced that boys wouldn't like me because of it, my huge thighs come in second
#25 I had to take accutane in college because my acne got out of control
#26 I don't care to repeat college at all. I took it very seriously and didn't allow time for much fun. It wasn't easy for me but I did very well.
#27 I think making friends is difficult, especially as an adult
#28 I have never had the confidence to speak out in a group ever until I became an adult
#29 I see a lot of myself in my daughter's personality. She clams up in large groups.
#30 I like cleaning everything but bathrooms, yuck!
#31 If my house is messy, I feel out of control but have let loose of this control a little since children have come
#32 I hate the behavior of a pack rat! If you don't use it, toss it! Clutter is your worst enemy.
#33 I have finally gotten rid of my skinny pants. I want to loose weight but am OK with never getting back down to that size because babies change your body forever and I refuse to be a slave to my weight. I want to be a healthy weight, not a drop dead gorgeous weight.
#34 I'm excited about the possibility of having a boy and scared as "#@$*#%"
#35 I'm scared that my kids will all live far away like I do from my parents, I want to be part of their adult lives more so
#36 I think I've read the entire bible although never in order
#37 I believe in marking in your bible, it helps you know what you've learned and were thinking at the time
#38 I think end times are near
#39 I like hearing about prophecy as it relates to current world events and end times
#40 I really don't enjoy reading the old testament at all, it's like pulling teeth in some chapters
#41 I get really jittery when I pray in public and get angry with myself because I obsess over saying things the right way in my prayer rather than just letting it flow from my heart like I do when I pray in private.
#42 I also hate the way I forget to listen to other's prayers because I'm preparing my own in my mind for my turn to pray outloud
#43 I have only been angry with God one time and I felt incredibly guilty about it. It only happened a couple weeks ago.
#44 I learned to ski when I was 5
#45 I love to fish, but hate putting worms on a hook. Bobber fishing is my preference
#46 I have accomplished most of my goals for life: get married, get a degree, get a masters, have a career, have kids.
#47 Guess I need to come up with more goals
#48 I love playing my violin but am a wreck everytime I have to do it in public. I have horrible stage anxiety and only do well playing in groups. I am very sensitive about my playing and fear what others think when they hear me
#49 I had to take drugs given to me by my professor to calm my nerves for my senior recital
#50 I really want to visit New York
#51 Sometimes I wish I would have gone through with my ambitions to become a marine biologist like I wanted to when I was a kid (wanted this for 7 years).
#52 I wish I lived closer to the ocean, I really want to snorkel or scuba dive
#53 I would like to ride in a hot air balloon sometime
#54 I love flying, except for the being cramped part
#55 I puked on a plane by myself when I was 7 months pregnant with kadyn and had to carry my own puke bag off the plane. I have NEVER experienced turbulence like that in my life!
#56 I really want to have a VBAC with this baby.
#57 I feel like I have so many blessings in my life that something is bound to happen that is bad or that perhaps I don't deserve them all
#58 I hope my children get as involved in youth group as I did, it changed my life and gave me a sense of belonging in high school
#59 I always used to tell myself that I wanted to marry a youth pastor someday and they had to have a good voice! Ha! Guess things change
#60 I am amazed at what God has accomplished in my husband's life. He has become the man of my dreams! I'm one lucky girl.
#61 I am very close to my mother and the thought of loosing her seems unbearable
#62 I have a huge birthmark over my left ear that used to get hot to the touch when I was angry. It has never bothered me. My mom used to tell me it was where the angel's kissed me.
#63 I am so OK with owning a van and loving it!
#64 I was way too caught up with what others though to me in high school and it still really bothers me if someone doesn't seem to like me or has a problem with me and I don't know why although I can't think of many instances as an adult where that has happened.
#65 I can't go to bed angry. I have to get my feelings out. People will always know the real me.
#66 I'm AWFUL at keeping secrets.
#67 I will not lie, I can't stand not being truthful
#68 I always thought I'd grow up and live in a nicer house than I have lived in so far since I've been an adult.
#69 I do not fear death only being in pain
#70 I wonder how I will die sometimes
#71 I like gardening but only when the weather is good
#72 I would like to have a mini greenhouse in my backyard someday
#73 My favorite food is cookies and pizza
#74 My favorite holiday is Christmas
#75 My favorite season is Spring

I did it. 75 things about me. I don't know if they are really interesting, but they are all me. Thanks for the idea Sarah. That was fun. I think I could keep going, but as you said, 200 things is a lot!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sibling rivalry, kind of....

While I'm on the subject of discipline, I just wanted to post another entry about another new thing I've been having to deal with that has really thrown me for a loop. Seems as the kids get older (perhaps this is part of what they call the terrible twos) the more I am finding myself dealing less with infantile behavior (don't put that in your mouth, get out of that, don't touch etc.) and more with plain old squabbles. The new increase in vocabulary has brought on a surge of tattle tails. Part of the problem is they always choose their battles carefully, usually when I'm not looking. I think the majority of the time they are telling the truth, however, what I have been able to catch I've noticed proves that both kids are at fault. Usually someone is trying to steal someone else's toy and thus the hitting and pushing begin. Rarely does anyone get hurt, 99% of the time it's all about their feelings.

So anyways, I have developed different tactics to help alleviate the problem. I still haven't solved it 100%, but I think it may be getting a little bit better.

#1 Teach the kids to hang onto their toys for dear life and don't just let someone else take them out of their hands

#2 Tell them to take the toy that's someone else is trying to steal to another spot or room and play with it

#3 Lock them into the same room as yourself so that you almost always see who did what and can catch them in the act

#4 Always reinforce that we share, share, share, share, share

#5 Take the toy away that they refuse to share

#6 Use the concept of taking turns often, ex: "It's Kadyn's turn, you have to wait until she's done playing with it"

#7 If you didn't see it happen, you have a tattle tail, and no one appears hurt just say, "Sorry I didn't see it happen, looks like you're OK though. Go play. (this is most recent tactic and amazingly it has forced them to deal with it on their own) Sure I don't want to let them get away with hitting and pushing, but there's only so much tattle a person can handle for crying outloud.
This one out of all of them has seemed to preserve my sanity and proved to be the most effective, especially if I ask them if they were hit or pushed because they were trying to steal someone else's toy. Amazingly when I ask Kadyn this, she tells me the truth and fesses up to trying to take someone's toy. I usually reply, "Well you shouldn't have tried to take his toy." I turn the responsibility back on the child instead of me always having to mediate the fight.

As frustrating as this all has been to deal with, I keep telling myself that when this baby gets here I will be so prepared for sibling rivalry. Sure the daycare kids aren't brother/sister, but they mine as well be consider how they squabble sometimes.

A new approach

After our trip I have been thinking a lot about how to discipline in public. Sure I know that snacks and toys help, but there are just going to be times when it is necessary and I DON'T believe on giving in just to avoid a scene. Rules are rules regardless of where you are. We had some issues with Kadyn towards the end of our trip which I think were mostly due to her being so tired, but I have always felt that discipline in public is one of my areas of weakness. For the most part Kadyn is well behaved but she has her moments and usually after they are done, I leave a store feeling as though I didn't do as well as I could have.

For awhile my approach has been to threaten time out or a spanking in the bathroom. The problem with this is that the bathroom is always so darn far away. Big stores like Target and Walmart always seem to have their bathrooms placed miles away. I posed the question to other moms on a website I visit frequently called cafemom (which I highly recommend to other moms by the way, you can get ideas and tips for anything from parenting to cooking and cleaning). Anyways, several mothers said they do their time outs right then and there in the middle of the aisle. I'm beginning to think this isn't such a bad idea. I think I'll give it a go. Worst case scenario, we have to spank in the van. Yes, I do believe in spanking, but I reserve it for special occasions so I don't overdo it and it doesn't loose it's impact.

So here's to a new approach. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Our trip

How can you just pick a few?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Back and exhausted

We're back! I have a gazillion pics from our trip which I need to sort through and decide which ones are the best to post, so pics to come later. Our trip was good. We did so much. We went to the city museum, aquarium, zoo, saw a movie, butterfly place, the mall (2x) and the arch. We also ate at some great restaurants and went swimming twice. It was a jam packed vacation and but a much needed break from life. I wish I could say I feel recharged, but physically I am drained. I walked so more than I have in a long time. I will say however, mentally I do feel refreshed. It was so nice to not have to worry about other people's children and to have someone else clean up after me and cook for me. I'm pleased to say I didn't really even think about the daycare very much while I was down there. I needed a break from all that for sure.

Part of my exhaustion in part is due to my daughter who just could not seem to find a way to unwind at the end of each day. The first night she didn't fall asleep until 12:30. This is very late for a little girl that always goes down at 9:00 like clockwork. I thought for sure that she would nap well the next day, turns out she wouldn't nap the entire weekend. Every night after the first night it took her at least an hour if not more to finally go down. Fortunately she never had a major meltdown but she did have some tearful moments that probably were exacerbated by the fact that she was very tired and we noticed that her cooperation and willingness to behave and do as told was going out the window by the time we left. Tonight I put her down at 8:00. I haven't heard a peep out of her since I closed the door.

I have been having trouble sleeping as the pregnancy progresses and I don't think I would have made it through the trip without the aid of extra strength tylenol to alleviate pain in my left leg while I sleep. I woke up every time it wore off and had to take another to fall back asleep. I had this problem with my first pregnancy but it seems to be worse this time around. It's weird to me that it's only in my left leg. My doctor's nurse doesn't seem to think it is anything I need to worry about so I guess I'll just deal with it until the baby is here. This morning was the worst because once the meds wore off it continued to hurt even when I was sitting up or standing and walking. Usually sitting up or walking takes care of it right away. Ugh! This its looking like the next 5 months are going to be long ones.

So tomorrow I'm back to the ol' grind. I have tried to look at it optimistically thinking, at least I get to stay at home with my little girl. Even though I have come to a point where I am sooo ready to give up this daycare, I still am very thankful that it allows me to stay at home with Kadyn. If I can keep that as my main focus I think I will start looking at what I do in a more positive light. I'm afraid before this vacation I was getting caught up in all the negatives and not celebrating the positives of what I do. Kadyn will indeed benefit from getting back into her routine. we go again, real life.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Me time

For some time I've been itching to have me time. Jeff seems to do an excellent job of this golfing at least once or twice a week with friends and playing drums at church every other month. My only friends up here just had babies so they aren't in a position to go out and do something together. I kept thinking, what in the world would I do, and where would I go? Although shopping would be great, I don't want to spend the money. Last night I asked Jeff for a favor. We needed to pack for our trip this weekend and I had piles of laundry to do, a fish tank to clean, and the house needed some attention too. Doing all those things with Kadyn in the house takes twice as long. I've noticed my motivation to keep up with normal house chores has been waning because it takes twice as much effort when the kids are up; they are usually under my feet tripping me and getting things out as I am putting them away or littering my rugs with toys while I'm trying to vacuum them etc. By the time Kadyn goes down at night I'm exhausted. So I asked Jeff to take off with Kadyn for a couple hours so I could just get things done.

I put in a Nikka Costa CD and pumped it really loud. Suddenly a new wave of energy came over me. I was a cleaning machine. It felt so liberating to finally have some control. When my house is in disarray I feel in disarray; I feel out of control. I felt like I was finally accomplishing something. I felt like a woman, I felt like an adult. I decided that I had found my "me time." Of course when Kadyn came home she was getting into everything she shouldn't be getting into and I was having to run around after her to keep my clean house from becoming ruined for the last hour before she wen to bed. But after the experience, I told Jeff that I needed at least a couple hours every week to be by myself in my house to clean or maybe on somedays when I feel really burnt out, just sit down on the couch without having someone crawling all over me.

I love my daughter more than life itself, but I really think I have been long overdue to spend time on me. I know I will be a better mother if I do this. I wish I would have made myself do this a long time ago. I think my need for this probably wouldn't be as strong as it is now due to the pregnancy and the daycare. I feel this way because it has only been recently that it has really started to bother me that I never get a break. I often wonder if I was just a mom if I would have this need. All I know is that at the moment I need it, and it looks as though my request will be fulfilled.

Ahh to have a clean house, if only for a couple hours, pure ecstasy.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


Kadyn has gotten addicted to having her owies (spelling?) kissed. They magically feel better when they are kissed. Must be some miracle science can't explain or something. Anyways, Will, one of her daycare buddies fell down and hurt his butt. He started crying and came over and looked at me. His language skills aren't nearly as developed as Kadyn's yet. I asked him if he hurt his hand because he was holding his hand. He replied "no." This left me baffled because Will has always answered no even if what he really means is yes. Kadyn felt the need to interpret. She said, "He hurt his butt!" Then she bent down and kissed it for him a couple times. Magically it felt better, or.....he was just too shocked to be upset about it anymore.