Christmas and more

A little taste of our Christmas and other fun times in the Bilberry house. Loving life!

Getting used to it

Since Brennan has been born I've had full time help everyday but Monday through Wednesday of this week when I was on my own. Surprisingly it hasn't seemed like that much more work having two kiddos. In fact, compared to watching the three boys plus Kadyn like I did earlier, watching an infant and my 2.5 year old has been a walk in the park. Granted we still have plenty of leftovers so I haven't had to do any cooking yet, but really the most difficult part has been trying to discipline Kadyn in a middle of a feeding with Brennan. So really, I'm feeling very lucky. Brennan has been super duper easy. She never fusses or cries, sleeps amazingly well at night only waking to feed 2 times sometimes 3 times a night and then falls back asleep.

I've started using my cloth diapers which are working very very well. The first time I put them on her was a bit of shock because they were sooooo bulky. I knew that was the case with cloth, but I do believe it won't be quite as bad once she grows a little bit. Amazingly I've been able to stretch her newborn outfits over all the bulk. Washing them really hasn't seemed like that much work. They clean up very well. I haven't had to do any toilet swishing so it really is not that much of a hassle. I've heard toilet swishing starts when they start solids so perhaps at that time it may feel like more of a commitment, but for now, I am rather enjoying it. My homemade detergent seems to working pretty well but it is an adjustment to have clothes with absolutely no smell when they are done being cleaned. I kind of miss that detergent fresh smell. But from what I've read, that detergent smell only means that your clothes have detergent residue left on them, not that they are clean. So I guess no smell means they are really clean from everything!

My folks are here right now and it's looking like they might be able to spend the holiday with us too. This will be a memorable Christmas indeed. We had intentions of putting my dad to work to help us replace our countertop in the bathroom, but one thing grew into another and now he is helping us replace our entire tub/shower. Yea!!!!! No more moldy caulking, no more rusty pink salmon steel tub, no more pink tiles falling down behind a plastic liner. I also had a "honey do" list that Jeff never got too since we've lived here and my dad knocked it out in a matter of 2 hours. Oh how I wish he lived closer. My favorite part of all this is that at last I will finally get my detachable shower head. It will make bathing the kids so much easier among other things.

I need to start taking more pictures. I took sooooo many pics of Kadyn her first year, I want to try to keep things fair. That also means I will need to type a letter to Brennan each month for the first year of her life. After that my letters will dwindle to once or twice a year. My mother did that for us girls and I always enjoy going back and reading them. A tradition that has been fun to keep up with for my own children.

Well anyways, there's the latest on us. Jeff is doing well and really in love with his lovely little ladies. Work is keeping him very very busy and we are looking forward to what his job has in store for him this coming year. It could be another exciting year of changes for us, only time will tell. One thing is for sure, we are loving being a family of 4. The Lord has blessed us indeed!

Testing her limits

Kadyn has really been testing her limits lately. I can't decide if Brennan has anything to do with it for a couple reasons. It started shortly before her birth and she adores her little sissy and doesn't act jealous of her in any way. I'm inclined to think this is just a phase that is coincided with her development and age. Mostly she is starting to back talk to us and ignore us when we tell her to do things. This week has been full of many time outs and a few spankings. I think once the holidays are done and we are back to our normal routine and eating our normal foods (we've had way too many goodies with all these holidays) that will help quite a bit. She may be missing her buddy Liam a bit and that could be part of the problem. Needless to say, it has been a little challenging and I don't care for it at all. I feel like a mean mom because I'm always on her case about her behavior, but I feel if I don't stay on top of it I could have a monster on my hands. Eventually I've got to get through the kid.....gulp......I hope!

In the throws of being a new mother again.

Last night was a heavy dose of caring for a newborn. I nursed Brennan at 11:30 just before I was lay down for the evening myself. I changed her right afterwards and right after I took her diaper off she peed all over me and the bed. So after we got that cleaned up, I decided to nurse her one last time so I could empty both sides or I would be horribly uncomfortable in four hours for our next nursing session. Four hours later I woke up to a drenched shirt and a poopy diaper to change before we nursed. Cleaned her up, nursed her and she pooped again, this time it got on her outfit. Cleaned her up again swaddled her and put her in her bassinet and she pooped again! Cleaned her up again and then finally had a chance to change my shirt, get a drink, go to the bathroom and then lay down. Woke up again just as the sun was rising to a slightly damp shirt and another wet diaper. And on and on we go..... I must say though, that I am doing rather well in the sleep department. Brennan really has been very easy and not so demanding now that my milk is in full force. And I'm just so glad that she's pooping and peeing a lot because it means she's getting plenty of milk (something I really struggled with the first time). So changing all those diapers actually makes me happy ironically.

Kadyn is still coughing a bit but I think she is finally on the amends. We are trying to get her back onto a schedule and some kind a routine. She is in desperate need of some order in her life again. She has been pushing her limits and our buttons for awhile since we got back, but everyday she seems to settle down a little more. She is totally in love with little sissy and still just as adoring and gentle with her as I hoped she would be.

Brennan has a slight case of jaundice, pretty common, but Kadyn never had it so I'm freaking a bit. Her level was at 6.4 at the hospital and then 9.4 two days later. They said they start using the lights when it gets to 12 or above and start worrying when it gets to 20 or above. I'm supposed to just keep a close eye on her and either get her retested in a week if I feel she needs it or earlier if I think it's getting worse more quickly. This morning I went back and forth with calling in to get her tested again. It isn't going away but I can't decide if it looks worse or not; she's so lobster red that it's hard sometime to see the yellow in her skin. I've heard that it usually goes away on it's own but can take several weeks in a nursed infant. The doctor thinks she has breastmilk jaundice. Basically my milk has some goodies in it that are harder for her liver to break down and so it causes a bit of jaundice. It can only be expelled through bowel movements and takes some time. So anyhoo, I think she's probably fine, but I'm being a worrisome mommy and trying to not freak out.

Her circulation isn't as good as I would like. It doesn't take much for her to turn purple when she's cold or if her limbs are positioned the wrong way. I know it's all so normal, but it's so new to me. I didn't have these problems with Kadyn. A mother can really worry herself silly if she wanted too.

My MIL is still here probably until Friday. It has been so nice to have help with the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and with Kadyn. Next week I will be on my own for most of it and then my parents will be here. I'm so ready for them to meet Brennan. It's been weird that they aren't here at the beginning of it all.

Looking forward to Christmas and seeing Kadyn's reactions to all her new gifts. This is probably the most I've looked forward to this holiday since I was a kid. New baby, 3 year old, it all makes for a memorable time.

Well I'm rambling. Toodles for now!

Labor and delivery

So for those of you who like to read about the experience of labor and delivery for other women, here's mine a little graphic so men probably won't want to read. Wednesday night after my appt. I decided to go to my water aerobics class. Kadyn was sick and we didn't want to get out with her like that so we skipped small group. I almost didn't renew my membership this month to the pool because I knew I wouldn't be using it after the birth, but I had always heard water aerobics could help you go into labor. During the class I started feeling those braxton like hics contractions only this time they were accompanied with a bit of pain. I just kind of worked through it and didn't think much of it. After I got out of the pool I went to the bathroom and noticed a little blood on my tissue and then I got really excited thinking this could be it. Another contraction came, then another, each was painful. I made it home and told Jeff to get out his watch. He started timing them and running around like a madman getting things ready just in case.

We called the hospital to find out when we could come in. They wanted the contractions to be 5 minutes or less apart for at least a duration of 30 minutes. When they started they were anywhere from 5 minutes to 10 minutes apart. Finally by 12:30 they got within the range we wanted. We called Elaine Chase/Atkinson to come stay with Kadyn and off to the hospital we went. We got admitted and they then took some blood tests, started administering the antibiotic and a bag of fluids before they would even think of an epidural which I wanted right away, although I was dealing really well with the contractions. I ended up doing about 9 hours until I got the epidural. When they put it in, it was MUCH more painful than it was with Kadyn and seemed to take forever. Jeff pulled a typical man move at that point and started yawning as I was writhing in pain, trying to hold still during a contraction, with tears pouring down my face. He will never live that one down! But I must say during most of the whole process he really was great and very supportive. I love my man.

Anyways, after the epidural I went very very numb. One leg I couldn't feel or move at all. That one tended to slide off the table at times and I had to remind the nurses when it started to fall so they could catch it. It's very bizarre to watch your limb fall of a table and not be able to do a thing about it. I ended up total laboring for a total of 22 hours from the time I was in the pool until the time she was born the next day at 3:15. I did get stuck at 5 cm for awhile and the second half of labor I was given pitocin to get things moving along again. There was one scary heart rate drop which I completely lost it during thinking the same thing was going to happen that happened to Kadyn and I would end up in surgery again, but mostly we controlled her heart rate by continuing to flip me from side to side every so often when it looked like she wasn't liking my position. The doctor did break my water at about 3:30 a.m. and I didn't see him again until I was about 3 pushes away from delivery. When he came in for delivery he discovered she was sunny side up and put her the right way in about 5 seconds (I didn't know they could do that). Once out, Jeff got to cut the cord (he did get the final moment on video). Then they placed her on me and I was crying out "I can't believe it! My baby! I love you!" It was one of the most memorable moments of my life.

They cleaned her up a little, wrapped her up, and gave her to me to nurse, and left the room for about 30 minutes, just me, the baby, and Jeff. It really was the birth experience I always wanted. I did have a medium tear that was fixed with one big long stitch. The recovery from this kind of birth has been sooo different. Everyone says c-sections are much worse for recovery, but for me recovery was much worse. It is very painful, but all worth it. I'm just so glad that my baby girl is here safe and sound and healthy and that I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm looking forward to getting my body back and starting life as a family of four. I am so blessed and thankful to God for this life and experience.

Update

We're home and everyone is doing fairly well. Kadyn is still sick with a cold but is being a trooper about wearing her mask around the baby. I only caught her once blowing in Brennan's face without it, which freaked me out. She has seen me doing this to try to wake Brennan up. Brennan had a fairly fussy day yesterday. She wanted to nurse all day, but to her credit, my milk had still had not come in. Last night if finally arrived, and now I can't get seem to get her to drink enough of it. I'd be a lot more comfortable is she would drink more. She is getting full and is much more content than yesterday. She's been sleeping most of the day and I'm having to wake her to feed her. She is such a good baby at night. Two nights now and she has had to be woke for both feedings. I have been letting her go 4 hour stretches at night and try to feed her every 2 to 3 hours during the day. I hope she continues to sleep that well. It has allowed us to recoop a lot lost sleep. By the time we got to the recovery room we had both not slept in about 37 hours. We are slowly making up for it, but still could use some more sleep as all new parents could.

Kadyn is in love with her "little sissy" She gets very squealy and giggly whenever she gets to hold her and we have had to coach her not to poke her eyes and nose. She desperately wants to kiss on her and does with the mask on, but I can tell she is anxiously awaiting the day when she can kiss her without the mask. When I feed Brennan Kadyn hovers almost nose to nose with Brennan watching in amazement. I have to tell her to back up and give Brennan some space. I can tell Brennan recognizes Kadyn's voice, she seems to calm down when Kadyn sings her little off key songs to her.

Today she got my donought seat, sat on it in front of the television, and then put her doll up her shirt. I'm sure there will be many more days of her playing mommy ahead. It is so cute. She was a little over the top with her behaviors when we returned and was testing us quite a bit, but today has seemed to calm down a lot. She apparently did very well when we were away. I think we did a good job letting her know what to expect when I went into labor.

Brennan has a little bit of jaundice or what the doctor thinks is breastfeeding jaundice. The levels aren't of too much concern yet but they are climbing so we are keeping an eye on it. She has lost almost a pound, but now that my milk is in, she should gain at least half an oz a day. We will go back to the doc in a week to check weight and possibly for another billirubin test if I feel she needs it. She is a bit yellow at the moment. I really think it will get better now that my milk is in.

My mother in law is here for the week and I am so thankful. Manning Kadyn right now is kind of difficult. I am VERY sore and trying to take it easy. The recovery this time is more difficult. I wasn't nearly this sore with my c-section. But.....if I had to do it all over again I would a million times. Vaginal birth really is a magical experience. I recommend it to anyone over c-section.

So anyways, there you have it. Looks like I will have help this week, then be on my own a week, then my parents will be here. Hopefully I'm not as sore this time next week. For now I"m just enjoying the help and being with my girls. I am so in love with my children. Makes me want more. Toodles for now!

Encouraging news!

I had another appt today. Turns out those things I was feeling in the evenings were contractions and not Braxton hics. I am now 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Now I realized I could stay this way for another 2 weeks, but I am sooooo encouraged because now I am considered favorable for an induction if I never do go into labor by my deadline (one week after my due date is my deadline to go into labor on my own, beyond that is considered to risky for uterine rupture because of my c-section). So this means, I am going to get my chance at a VBAC one way or the other. There are no guarantees that it won't end in a c-section, but I feel so lucky to be able to try this. I really really hope this works. Now I just have to be patient and either let my body do it's job or just wait for another two weeks until I can be induced. The end is in sight! I'm so excited!

Tired

I'm tired. Kadyn woke at 4:00 in the morning because she wet her bed. This is the second time she has ever wet her bed. It's very weird. I'm not sure why. She's never had a problem with this before. It took at least 15 minutes to get the sheets changed, get her to the restroom and change her and then it took me another hour and a half to fall back asleep. Consequently I'm exhausted.

The ground has snow on it but not nearly enough to play in and I doubt I could muster up the energy to go outside and play in the snow even if there was enough snow. I didn't even bother to take the kids to the library for story time which I usually do EVERY Monday. I'm getting physically tired and I'm getting tired of waiting for the big day. Moving around is getting so difficult. I keep getting more and more convinced that this baby will be like Kadyn and will not come out on her own. It's very disappointing as each day passes and still no progress. I'm soooo uncomfortable and miss my old body so much. Part of me wishes that I could just give in and schedule a c-section right around my due date. But another part of me wants to wait it out as long as possible to give my body a chance to do this on its own and have that VBAC I want so badly. 11 more days until my due date. I can do this!

I keep staring at the calendar wondering which day I will get to mark as her birthday. When I look at the calendar it doesn't seem so far off. As weird as this sounds, it almost seems surreal to me that there will be another human being in our family in less than a month. It's hard to imagine what she will look like, what kind of personality she will have, how big will she be (have another feeling I'm going to deliver another whopper), and how she will fit into our family. It's hard to imagine that this time next year she will be crawling maybe even walking around and getting into everything. It's hard to imagine that in a few days to a couple weeks I will be holding her in my arms. That other people will be holding her in their arms. I am looking forward to it all. I'm excited that she will be here close to Christmas. It may be the most memorable Christmas ever. About the only thing I'm dreading is the lack of sleep. I know the next 2 years will be exhausting. It wasn't until Kadyn turned two that there was any consistency to my sleep pattern.

OK onto other news. Thanksgiving was great! Uncle Jason came turkey day and we had our big meal the next Friday. Aside from a few plumbing problems it really was a blessed holiday. I didn't have to cook at all. The Bilberry boys are great cooks! I froze half of what we made so I should have some extra food around when baby gets here. Kadyn and I set up our mini tree together which she loved. I got to buy some cheap fabric on sale Black Friday for more of my diaper sewing projects and that same day Kadyn and I made and decorated sugar cookies together. It was honestly the first time in my life I have ever made them or decorated some. They turned out great and Kadyn had a blast. I plan on making that one of our traditions. We had hot chocolate with chocolate chips and candy canes and it was soooo yummy! Yes, this has been a good holiday indeed.

Well I'm rambling. Just wanted to update the latest as I know some of my readers are probably wondering if I've popped yet. So the answer for today is....nope! Still plump and ready.

Trying to make it a no brainer

Since I got into the idea of cloth diapering this second child, I have REALLY gotten into it and she's not even here yet. Let me explain. There are a gazillion options out there for cloth diapers now days. Its not like it used to be. There are the old fashioned kind like our parents used (called prefolds) to use with fancy covers that look much like a disposable, there are AIO (All in ones) that are bascially a cloth diaper that looks and uses exactly like a disposable, there are also what's called fitteds that work with covers and pockets that work with or without covers depending on what you buy. There are perks and disadvantages to all in my opinion. I've read the pros and cons of all before I chose which route was going to take. My route had to be affordable so I opted for the prefolds with a few covers.

Besides being more affordable they are supposed to be easier to wash and dry. Because the layers are separate there's less dry time and detergent or bodily waste doesn't get stuck in the diaper like they may do in the other types. I am still happy with my decision and I suppose when I get to use them I'll learn real quick whether I made the right decision. But lately I've been so fond of the idea of saving money that I want to make it an absolute no brainer for Jeff so he can participate in diaper changes too thus eliminating our need to buy disposables entirely unless we go on vacation or when we put Brennan in the nursery at church. He swears he doesn't want to deal with the cloth for he thinks they will be more difficult to use. Thus, I am making some pocket diapers out of some fabric scraps around the house just for Jeff.
The basically look like a real diaper that have a pocket for you to stuff your prefold in for extra absorbancy. There is no confusing folding and trying to figure out how it goes on the baby. If you can put on a disposable, you can put on a pocket. I'm sure there will be some resistance at first, but I think once he tries it he will realize it isn't as bad as he thought. I know he would never swish a diaper in a toilet, but my friend swears you don't have to do that because washing machines today are good at getting it all out now. That remains to be seen.

So anyways, I need to post some pics of my latest creations. They are kind of fun to make and so far I've spent maybe 10 dollars to make these pockets and covers. Money saved, not lost. This feels good.

It's always amusing around here.

Today Kadyn has been in a very sing songy mood. So far she has stood on a stool and proceeded to make up her own rap song. It started out with a rap beat followed by a full chorus of "Holy Moly, Holy Moly!" She declared it was her favorite song. Then later she decided to sing about the peas on her plate by singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with a few words replaced with the word "peas." And to end our wonderful lunch she said, "Liam? Oh laa laa!" Where in the world does she come up with this stuff. Needless to say, it's been an amusing day. She is babbling and singing away in bed as we speak when she should be napping.

8 month mark

Here are my official pregnancy photos. We didn't have them done professionally so there are some lighting issues but overall I thought they turned out pretty decent. I am so lucky not to have any stretch marks on my belly although I did get them in other areas):

I had my 36 week appt. yesterday. One more week and I will be considered full term even though my due date isn't until Dec. 11th. I asked the doc how big the baby was and for him to guess how big she would be when born. Now she is around 5.5 lbs and he thinks she will get to about 8.8 lbs by birth. Of course they can be off a pound or two but I have a feeling I will be having another whopper of a baby. Kadyn was 9 lb 7 oz. This baby feels just as big to me if not bigger. I'm guessing if I go late she'll be around that and if I go on time she be in the 8 pound range.

Next week they will begin to start checking me for signs of labor. I'm anxious to see if my body is doing anything, but hate those visits because they can be quite painful. Although I really would love to have this baby early because I am soooo uncomfy, it really would be better to have her on time because my doc will be out of town thanksgiving weekend. It would stink to have gone to this doctor my whole pregnancy only to have someone else deliver my baby.

My small group threw me a surprise shower on Wednesday. I felt so blessed and so unworthy. I didn't think people got showers for second babies. I got some cute outfits, some diapers (those will be for Jeff to use when he changes her since he refuses to change a cloth diaper) and a rattle. Kadyn was enamored with Brennan's new clothing. She loves everything about this baby. It's not hard to get her excited about anything baby. My parents informed me that she will be getting a doll that wiggles, giggles, and more this Christmas. I have a feeling that will be a big hit considering mommy will have her own wiggly newborn to take care of at the same time. Kadyn loves to imitate me so this should be interesting. I'm anticipating that it won't be long before I see Kadyn with the baby's head up her shirt pretending to nurse it.

The other night I washed some barbie clothes that are supposed to go with Kadyn's barbies she will be getting for Christmas. She happened to see them on my bed and asked, "Are these mine momma." "Um.....nope. They belong to baby Brennan." "Oh, neato, awesome!" She fondled those clothes for a good 20 minutes saying over and over again how awesome they were. Jeff had to be a smart alec and say, "Aren't those a little small for Brennan?" Then she found a baby toy that I had bought for Brennan for Christmas and figured out it made music. Next thing you know her and her daddy are dancing in front of the mirror for 20 minutes to the same baby toy song while she wildly exclaims, "This is fun!" It really was cute.

So things are going as smoothly as expected. I am extremely uncomfy, I am starting to swell, and my back is still giving me issues on occasion, but overall I am just happy to have a healthy baby still growing inside of me. It will all be worth it in the end!

Owww!

When I was prego with Kadyn around my 7th month my sciatic nerve started acting up. Two weeks later it finally quit. It is just this shooting pain that starts in my lower back and shoots down my right leg. It literally takes my breath away it hurts so bad. It usually strikes when I am in the process of sitting down or sometimes when I move just right when walking. Anyways, here I am, 8 months prego, only one more month to go and wammo! The sciatic nerve strikes again. Bummer! Please God don't let this last more than two weeks. I feel like such a nutcase when I gasp for air and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy. These last four weeks are going to be trying I can tell. Just doing my everday tasks is getting very very difficult. Thankfully my sweet husband has been very helpful with Kadyn. I still feel guilty leaning on him to help with her every need, so I am still trying to give a valiant effort to keep things like they always have been, but by the end of the day I am so spent. Now with my back acting up, I don't know how much cleaning I can do anymore. A house can get pretty dirty in four weeks without being cleaned. I know I'll make myself run the vacuum but I keep looking at our shower thinking, I just can't do this anymore. And even though I know everyone will understand, the thought of all these guests coming over after the birth and seeing a dirty house, scares me. I'll probably just do it, regret it because I'll be hurting and then move on. Please Lord, let these next four weeks go quickly. I need my body back and I need to hold and cuddle this little stinker that is causing me so much body issues right now:)

Halloween festivities

Halloween was good this year. We started off at the zoo spooktaculer. Kadyn got to trick or treat all around the zoo with a former daycare child of mine and her friend, Will. The zoo had all kinds of displays and booths for the kids to get candy at. Then we trick or treated at Kadyn's Grammie and Grandad's house (also known as Elaine Chase/Atkinson and Eric Atkinson they are our adoptive grandparents here in town). Later we went to our church's "Trunk or Treat" festivites. Kadyn got to trick or treat to various decorated trunks and jump on some inflatables. She also had a professional photo taken which she refused to smile for and unfortunately ran of time to paint a mini pumpkin. The following day we carved pumpkins and it seemed the only one getting into it was me. Kadyn thought it was too gross to help out and Jeff agreed with her although he did make himself carve at least one of the pumpkins. After hearing my husband agree that carving pumpkins was gross, I had to think to myself, no wonder God is giving us all girls. I roasted some pumpkins seeds for the first time by myself and they turned out a bit salty but not bad. It was good enough that I think I'll make it a tradition every year. Next year I hope to get ambitious enough to actually make homemade pumpkin pie. All in all, it was a good holiday and we are looking forward to another with baby Brennan next year.

Some pics from the past month

OK only 6 more times, I can do this!

You know the thing I hate the most about the last trimester is bending over. It is almost impossible to breath. My poor bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a week and suppose posting this lame post is my way of procrastinating cleaning it. I just keep telling myself, you only have 6 more weeks to go. That's six more times to clean the bathroom with a huge basketball in my belly. I can do this! Go Darci! Go Darci, go! If I never post again, it's because I passed out from lack of oxygen for what I am about to do.....dumm dumm dumm, clean the BATHROOM! Now no more excuses, I have got to get this done before the kids wake. Toodles!

Geeze, I stay busy

Seems lately my plate is really piling up with my job of stay at home mother/wife. We have recently gotten into "Angle Food Ministries." It is basically a really cheap way of getting groceries. You may have one in your area if you are interested on saving some bucks on groceries. The only problem with doing groceries this way is you have to order packages of food. You do not buy food by the item. So sometimes there will be things in the package you order that you typically don't buy and you have to figure out how to make it. The good thing is that it has forced me to cook outside my normal box. Recently we have gotten a whole bag of red potatoes, white potatoes, lemons and apples. The lemons I have no idea how to use other than cleaning stuff and occasional seasoning. I already had apples on hand before I got a whole other bag of them and potatoes too, so now I have way more lemons, apples, potatoes than I can possibly use before they go bad. Thus, my new goal is to make homemade lemonade, applesauce and freeze, and freeze most of the potatoes. I am having to research recipes to do these things for I have never done this kind of stuff before. It's kind of fun.

In addition to that I am finishing up my personal sewing project and will be starting a new one that is more for the kids. I will be making a lot of homemade wipes to go with my cloth diapers, cloth napkins, learn how to sew buttons on Jeff's pants, and some soakers to insert in the diapers at night time for extra absorbancy. If I get really adventurous I may even try to sew matching easter dresses for the girls. My sewing machine is working but still giving me fits every now and then. It is not uncommon to get 5 minutes into a project and then for my thread to break or for extra thread to get caught in the bobbin case. I can't figure out what is causing it all and it makes me so angry but I'm trying to be patient and deal with it because I don't want to spend any money on it right now.

My time of all this freedom to do crafty things and cook is drawing to a close as I have less than 7 weeks left until this baby comes. I know once that happens, it will be awhile before I can find the time to do these things so I am trying to enjoy myself as much as possible now. Kadyn has really been good about playing with her friend Liam most of the day and hasn't been that demanding on me. Daddy plays hard with her every night and I still do my two organized activities with both kids everyday so she gets plenty of me time.

It amazes me how busy I can keep myself while staying at home all day. I really admire those women who work out of home. I don't know how they can keep it all together. I think if I was working something would give. I'm sure we would be eating a lot more quick unhealthy foods. Cleaning probably get pushed to the wayside a lot of times. I am sooooo thankful that God has blessed me the ability to stay at home. For now, it is fulfilling me as a person. I know there will be a time when I am ready to go back to work probably when my kids are all in school, but for now, I am finding contentment and restoration in my current state. Thankyou Lord for my life. It is beautiful.

"I" tag game

I am-looking forward to having my new little girl here in 7 weeks!
I want- to be more resourceful and save money
I have-heartburn right now, ugh!
I wish-we knew when the rapture was going to happen
I hate-dishonesty
I fear-loosing my loved ones
I hear-the movie "Independence Day" right now
I search- for new recipes that are healthy and that Jeff will actually eat
I wonder- how different Brennan will be from Kadyn
I always-have a routine to my day, I thrive on routine
I usually-do the laundry once a week
I am not-able to sleep lying down the entire night
I dance-very seldom these days
I sing-children's books, in other words, I make up a tune to go with the words
I never-let a day go by without telling my darling child how much I love her
I rarely-see my parents in person anymore, maybe twice a year
I cry-sometimes when I pray
I am not always-on time like I used to be
I lose- my patience with my daughter at times
I’m confused- about some of the bible and God's will for me
I need-more storage in my house
I should-work out more
I dream- more vivid dreams when I'm pregnant than when I'm not
I TAG-ummm...hate being the party pooper here but the only people I know that read this blog have already been tagged. Bummer!

Even in the small stuff.

In my last post I was discussing my woes with my sewing machine. Shortly after lunch while I was having my quiet time with God I requested his assistance with the machine. After all I have felt led by God to find ways to be resourceful to save money and this little project was supposed to help me do that, but not if it meant going out and spending money on a new machine or fixing my old one. If God really wanted me to be resourceful, why would he let this machine break down. So, as doubtful as I was that I could figure it out after 2 hours of trying before I prayed, I still asked for his help.

Later that day I felt I needed to give it one more try to see if he would answer my prayer. I felt like I needed to rethread it one more time paying particular attention to the way I threaded it around a certain knob, and so I did. I still don't know what I did differently, but wala it worked! Then I had the realization that I had sewn some sticky velcro and perhaps the needle had sticky residue on it which wasn't helping matters. Once again, I was right and wala, it works even better. I was a little taken back that God had really answered my prayer on this one. It was such a silly request but he must have cared enough to answer it even through my doubts. It assured me that he approved of my quest to use my resources and be resourceful and cares about even the small stuff. Who would've thought that fixing a broken machine would give me such a spiritual lifting today. I love it when God works like that.

Ugh! Why does it screw up now?

I have started sewing some things for myself. I prefer not to say what, it's kind of personal, but the point is, I am getting crafty. I've had a sewing machine my mom gave me when I went to college and it has worked find until now. The thread keeps catching in the bobbin case. I have tried everything, cleaning what I can clean, oiling it, and now.....it's worse than before. Before it was useable, now it just won't stitch worth a darn. I've called the sewing center to see how much it would cost to have it serviced and they want 60$. For crying outloud I could almost buy a new sewing machine for that! So now with all these pieces cut up, ready to be sewn I'm just sitting here wondering, do I have it serviced, do I spend a little more and just get a new machine, or should i really look into that used serger on craig's list I found for the same price as a service call on my machine? I've always wanted a serger and it would make sewing things sooo much easier, but my regular machine would be out of commission until I foot the bill to get it taken care of. If I ever wanted a regular stitch I'd be out of luck. Darn the insanity of this all. I' m in go mode and can't go! Why did this thing have to screw up now?

Yawn, blink, blink

You know I really didn't think I'd be loosing sleep due to both my kids until after the baby was here. I guess I was wrong. Apparently Brennan wanted to host a party in my womb for two half hour sessions during the night last night, and then Kadyn woke an hour early this morning. I'm soooo dragging today. I think a cat nap is in order during the kid's naptime or I'll never make it through water aerobics.

My last visit I was so relieved to have only gained 2 pounds this past month. I've shown a gain of 6 pounds at every appt. until now. I think my aerobics class and eating more fruits and veggies may actually be paying off. In some wierd way, hearing that I only gained 2 pounds made me feel like I actually lost weight. I have exactly 8 weeks left. I am now going to start going to the doctor every 2 weeks. They will start checking for signs of dilation and labor in another 4 weeks. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel to say the least. Other than being uncomfy, I really am doing quite well. I need to post some more pics. We have professional pics scheduled to happen November 11th at sears, exactly one month away from due date. It's likely that our Christmas pictures this year will be with me being pregnant even though this baby will be out by the time Christmas is actually here. Oh well!

Kadyn has started a new phrase that we haven't the slightest clue where she picked it up. Two days ago she blurted out, "Daddy come here on the double!" I thought it was cute but am so baffled where she got "on the double from." Yesterday I pointed out to her that one of her baby blankets had her name embroidered on it. She was suddenly so enamored with the blankie. She'd trace her name with her little finger and say, "Kadyn...Mae...Bilberry....9...20 dollars!" It also has her weight 9lb 7 oz on it and somehow she interpreted that into dollars! It was cute to say the least.

So I guess life is just plugging on as usual in the Bilberry household. Jeff is becoming a little exhausted in his job with all the chaos surrounding the market right now, rightly so. It's been difficult for him to try to assure his clients that everything will be OK if they are just patient and ride out the storm, although no one really knows that for sure, and that is always in the back of his mind. He is trusting the advice of his bosses, and that is all he really can do right now. I'm very proud of him for all he does at work everyday.

Hope everyone is enjoying the fall weather and gearing up for the holiday season! Toodles!

Blood moons.

If any of you know me very well you would know that one of my interests is the study of prophecy in scripture. I don't get really in depth with it, but I do like to know anything that has been fulfilled and like to keep myself informed of things to come. After all, we are called to be aware of the signs of the times. It seems in today's church society that prophecy is rarely, if ever addressed. This has really frustrated me. I think too many people are worried about being seen as quacks; I was when typing this blog actually! There is so many different interpretations of biblical prophecy out there that others are worried they may give the wrong one and look foolish when time proves it wrong (many have done this). Yet others are just worried about causing controversy within the church by bringing it up. Lastly, no one wants to get stuck in the doomsday frame of mind, it's a depressing way to live really.

But to ignore prophecy and teaching it within the church is wrong in my opinion. I wish I could remember the exact percentage, but I can tell you that a huge portion of the bible is devoted to prophecy. Obviously God feels it is important for us to know. To ignore it isn't biblical and certainly isn't right. We need to be aware of times to come and prepared for Christ's return. We need to live our days as though he could come at any moment. And yet.....too many of us live our day in, day out lives as though things will always continue the way they are. Perhaps they will. Perhaps we will all live out our lives here on earth and pass away before the great rapture. But there is a possibility that we are extremely close to end times. There is a possibility that he could come any day now. To ignore this, in my opinion, is foolish.

When you actually delve into the study of prophecy you will quickly realize that we are living in exciting times. Prophecy is coming true before our very eyes and we are getting closer and closer by the day to end times. For those biblical buffs, that means closer to a rapture (if you are a pretrib believer) and closer to the tribulation and the 1,000 year reign. Even if we are 100 years away, folks that's still close. When you consider that Christ was on earth 2000 something years ago, a hundred years really seems close doesn't it? Personally, I think we are WAY closer than that. I won't tell you when I think it will be for no one really knows that, and we won't know the exact date or time. He will come like a thief in the night as the bible says. However, if you read the signs of the times you will know that we aren't far off.

Recently I came across something that is so fascinating to me regarding end times. If you are the type of person that likes science to back your faith, this is it! It is regarding the study of solar eclipses and lunar eclipses and how they line up with prophecy in the bible, specifically the prophecy of the 4 blood moons. It REALLY is amazing and makes the hairs on your neck stand up. So, if you have 30 minutes of free time and this sort of thing is starting to intrigue you, give it some time. Here is the link:

http://www.fivedoves.com/letters/apr2008/jim428.htm

Once you go to the link you will have to click one more link to see the actual program. If anything, it will make you think and realize how important it is for us to be ready.

The old fashioned way

With all this economic turmoil, one can't help but think it may be smart to prepare for the worst, just in case. Jeff and I have never wanted to take part in fear and panic that happens within our society. However, this wall street mumbo jumbo has gotten our attention. Although they say another depression is most likely to never happen again, you can't entirely rule it out as a possiblity. No one has a crystal ball and can say with 100% certainty that that wouldn't happen. So a person is left to ponder, do I take this as my warning to get ready now, or do I trust that it will get better? If it doesn't, I could be kicking myself for not preparing when it's too late to do so. So....we thought perhaps it might be a good idea to take a few precautions.

We thought we might stock up on a few dry goods and other essential commodities. Then I decided that maybe I ought to give cloth diapering a try. Yes, the old fashioned way of diapering a baby. I must say, I have NEVER really been a big fan of cloth diapers. The thought of having to swish a poopy diaper around in a toilet sounds appalling to me, but if I'm truly going to be prepared then I need to consider this. After all, if there comes a time when we can't get food, then it seems obvious that disposable diapers are out of the question too. So I did my research and somehow managed to find enough cloth diapers to get the job done for the next two years providing I do laundry 3 times a week if I use them on a full time basis. I really think I'll just try to use them when we are at home and then use disposables only when we go out unless of course times no longer prevent me to use them at all. Because of the incredible deal I got, I think I might possibly save myself almost 680$ in diapers over the next 2 years. And I do feel a little greener having made this decision. If I try it and totally regret it, I can probably make most of my money back as used cloth diapers sell very well on ebay. But until this baby is out of diapers ,I think I will have them on hand for that peace of mind for worse days ahead.

New inspiration in a spiritual lull

For some time I have become too complacent in my relationship with Christ. I go through the motions: church on Sundays, prayers before all meals, prayers with Kadyn before bedtime, reading at least one chapter a day in my bible and praying afterwards, small group with church friends on Wednesday nights. I just have been uninspired through it all and feeling as though I really need to change something to get on fire instead of being "lukewarm" which scripture so often warns about. I was not growing and I knew it.

I decided to find a group online that perhaps could offer some daily devotionals so I could get a different take on scriptures rather than just trying to get my own take on them from my daily readings. I did this online because my most productive personal time with God comes during the kid's naptimes and when I can't leave the house. Since it's not in the beginning of the day or the end of the day, I am alert,attentive, and clear in mind. I could never have imagined how that search for a devotional group could grow into so much more. On my cafemom website, which I speak of often, I found such a group of ladies, and a prophecy group, and a christian marriage group. All of them have there own unique subject matters that are relavent to me and in which I find interest at this point in my life. I joined all three. I now do my daily devotions online.

One of the ladies in particular recommended a website to me which I found particularly inspiring. I will post the link at the bottom of this entry. It was a man's dialogue (prayers) with God. In other words, he published online his conversations with God. It was so striking to read what God may have said to this man. I say "may have" because no one could know for sure if this man is just making it up, or if indeed this is the voice of God talking to this man that he is sharing with the world. But, none the less, I enjoy reading them and it has sparked so many more meaningful conversations of my own with God in a similar format.

For most of my life I have enjoyed writing which may be apparent due to the fact that my blogs are so lengthy. Typing is soooo easy for me that I can get carried away. Somehow words just flow out of me when I type so easily. So I decided to start praying through my writing; a prayer journal on my computer if you will. It is almost easier for me to type a prayer rather than say it outloud. I feel better spoken. I love that fact that I can go back and reference what I was feeling at that time and see if God has truly given me answers to those requests or questions that I had after some time has passed. It has created a new spiritual growth in me and although it has just begun but only a week or two ago, I'm beginning to wonder if it may just stick for quite awhile. It has been refreshing to say the least.

So if any of you are in a lull, give these conversations with God a look see. Maybe you can find some of the same inspiration I have found. Here is the link:

http://www.findthepower.com/conversations/conversation4.htm

Things I really miss during the last trimester.

1. Holding my daughter close without my belly getting in the way
2. My energy
3. The ability to bend over and breath at the same time
4. Rolling over in bed with little effort
5. Sleeping in a bed instead of a couch
6. Not feeling overly stuffed every time I eat
7. Not feeling like I have to pee every hour
8. Walking with both legs together instead of waddling
9. Breathing normal instead of feeling like I just ran a marathon
10. Not having to put lotion on every square inch of my body

Diabetic and still yummy!

OK I just tried out another diabetic recipe on me and the kids and it was a hit. I loved it! Fairly easy and great way to sneak some veggies in without kids noticing. For those of you who like new recipes that have been tested and given a stamp of approval, here's one for you. Also, I did alter it a bit and I put in parenthesis the parts I altered. Enjoy!

Ham and Potato Frittata

buttered flavored cooking spray (i used canola spray)
3/4 cup finely chopped reduced fat, 33% less sodium cooked ham (I just used those tiny cubed ham pieces you buy and put in salads)
1/3 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
2 cups frozen country style hash brown potatoes
1/2 cup sliced green onions
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 (8 oz) carton egg substitute (I couldn't find this so I picked up a carton of pure egg whites
1/3 cup reduced fat shredded sharp cheddar cheese (I used regular and increased the quantity to make it more appealing to the kids)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place a 10-inch nonstick ovenproof skillet coated with cooking spray over medium heat until hot. Add ham and bell pepper; saute 3 minutes. Add potatoes and next 3 ingredients; saute 4 to 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender

Reduce heat to medium-low. Add egg substitute; stir gently. Cook 2 to 3 minutes or until nearly set. Place pan in oven and bake at 450 degrees for 3 to 4 minutes or until set Sprinkle with cheese while frittata is hot.

I put cheese on before I put in oven and just baked until cheese had melted and hardened a little bit. I also doubled the recipe so we would have left overs and increased cooking time on every step because of that. The kids LOVED it! That's great considering it had green onions and bell peppers in it. Salsa on top also makes it so yummy!

Let me know if you try it and like it! It's a keeper for us.

Hope you're having a good day.

Her lack of patience gives me the same thing

Lately Kadyn has really been testing my patience through her own lack of patience. Seems our sassy phase is phasing out (although she has an episode or two from time to time) and we are starting a new phase that means a more demanding less patient Kadyn. It usually happens during anytime she is at the table eating. If she wants a drink, she wants it now! If she is done, she is done now and wants cleaned now! She insists on repeating herself over and over and over and over again as if I didnt' hear her the first time. She seems to have ear plugs in when I tell her I will get to her in just a minute.

Granted I probably am part to blame because sometimes I'll tell her just a minute and then get caught up cleaning this or that and she just sits there waiting on me. But lately, it's getting to the point where something needs to be done. Patience is hard for me as a 31 year old, I can only imagine how hard it is going to be for Kadyn to learn it. So this week my goal is to crack down on her about being so demanding and her lack of patience. There will be an increase in time outs, for sure and it will be a lot of work for me to go back and the forth from her chair to her room for time outs and of course a lot of explanations and sorrys that will need to be said, but I'm hoping if I'm persistent I will see some improvement by the end of the week. Seems this is how every phase goes. We have a whole week of exhausting corrections and then the behaviors start to improve.

Of course, I need to work on my patience if I am going to expect her to be patient too. So this week I dedicate to patience. Sweet Lord help me exercise it myself and instill this value in my child. I'm going to need your help!

The power of a nilla wafer

Since I have been on a health kick lately, it seemed only appropriate to put the kids on one too. I have really tried to stay away from processed fruit cups and try to make them eat a lot of fresh fruits. The have not cared for the textures of these unprocessed foods and skins on them too. One day after trying to get them to eat an orange I decided to bargain with nilla wafers. I told them if they ate all their orange they would get 3 nilla wafers. Kadyn, eager to get her reward, tried to swallow a piece of orange without chewing. I think it became stringy in her throat and made her puke. She thought that would get her out of eating the rest of her orange and then she would get her lovely prize afterwards. WRONG! I simply cleaned her up, changed her clothes, and told her she needed to chew them better and eat them all and then she would get her cookies. She did it! She ate the rest and got her lovely prize. Liam did the same. Today was our second attempt at oranges, and there was no puking. They still didn't care much for them but snarfed them down for the lovely nilla wafers. I'm hoping eventually they'll get over the texture and skin phobia and eventually learn the love the fresh fruits so someday......maybe we won't need nilla wafers.

What a trooper!

Kadyn got her first of two flu shots today. Jeff's office was giving them out to the employees and their families. I couldn't get one because my OBGYN said it had to be preservative free, and it wasn't. Asked the nurse about that and she said it had something to do with a suspected link between the shot and autism. For this reason, many pediatricians don't give it to children under 3, unless it has no preservatives. It is new research, but they can't prove it yet. She said we all got vaccinated with preservatives as children. Based on what she said, I opted to go ahead and let Kadyn have one anyways. Besides, every place I called when I got home didn't offer them without preservatives anyways. And I digress.

The point of this blog was to tell you about my little trooper. I warned Kadyn that it may hurt a little but not for long, and it would help her from getting sick. She actually seemed excited about it. When she got it, she only let out one little whine, and that was it. She did so amazingly well. On the way out the door she said, "Where's my shot?" I don't think she realized that was it. I think she thought it would be a little more tangible. I had to explan that it was in her body now. She then exclaimed that she wanted to show her friend "Gilly" her shot and bandaid. She also asked if she could get one in her other leg. I suppose, little one, I can make that possible in another month. Like a said, what a trooper.

The "Manfest"

Jeff would probably kill me for posting this but I thought it was so funny and adorable I had to post. Besides, I have a feeling I really only have two female readers anyways. The only danger is if a man reads this. So here goes.

Jeff got roped into attending a "manfest" this weekend hosted by our church. How? They want him to play drums. Yesterday he came home announcing that he was expected to spend the night on the floor in a sleeping bag. Apparently the 'manfest' is an overnighter. As if a bunch of grown man sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags at a church isn't funny enough, I got to thinking and asked him which sleeping bag he was going to use. We only have two sleeping bags. One of them is Kadyn's pink sleeping bag and the other is a toddler "cars the movie" sleeping bag. Obviously he had to pick the pink one because it is the only one he will fit in. He's got to be the only man there who will bring a pink sleeping bag. I suppose it's his way to proudly announce he's the only man in our house of girls and proud of it. Maybe he'll get lucky and meet another poor soul who comes in a pink sleeping bag. I'm sure that would be a bonding experience for them.

I love my man so much and can't be more proud of him for being comfortable enough with his manhood to sleep in his daughter's pink sleeping bag as if to say, "Yes, I live in a house of women and proud of it!"

I love you Jeff! You are so adorable sometimes!

Shew!

I passed my 3 hour glucose test!!!!!!!! I'm not a pregnant diabetic. I must say though, this has been a big wake up call. I am so motivated to eat better. I have been trying to eat like a diabetic all week with low sugars, salts, and good fats just in case. I got a diabetic cookbook from the library and even tried one recipe so far. It wasn't half bad I must say. All the cookbooks say that a diabetic's diet should really be what everybody aims for because it is just soooo much healthier than the way we eat today. So.....I'm going to give several of these recipes a shot anyways in search of a better, healthier way to eat. However, I still may have to have the occasional cookie. Life without cookies would have been miserable. Yippee I'm OK!

Just a little of what we've been up too

Here are a few pics of an activity the library sponsored. Kadyn is in a fire truck in one of them. This weekend we get to go explore a corn maze, pick our own pumpkin, see some craft booths, see lots of farm animals, sheep sheering, dog herding, and ride a wagon pulled by horses. I'm sooooo excited!

This pic explains it all!

As you all know I have been able to get out an about with the kids. The first two weeks however, were a bit surprising to me. Although Kadyn LOVED getting out and had a ball, Liam wasn't always such a good sport. In this pic he was complaining that it was too hot and bright for him. However, since this pic he has started to enjoy each outing a little more. I'm not sure how much he gets out with his parents, but really was an adjustment for him to go out with us.

First REAL haircut

Last weekend we took Kadyn to "Cookie Cutters." She was soooo excited and loves her new doo. She did very well.