These last couple weeks have been really trying in the parenting and daycare department. Brennan and my little gal have been going through some difficult toddler behaviors. They are behaviors that are not uncommon to the age, so that has given me some comfort that it's not something I'm doing wrong. Anyhoo.. last week my little gal had about a three day span where she just decided that she wanted to be held all day and if I didn't oblige she was going to scream at the top of her lungs. It didn't matter if I sat down next to her and offered to play one on one with her, she protested unless she was plopped in the middle of my lap or being carried around. This was quite exhausting, especially considering there were 3 other children that desired my attention. What it finally took to break her of it was just ignoring her screams and going about my play with the other children as if nothing was wrong. Occasionally I'd try to engage her in what I was doing and eventually she quit her tantrums and turned back into a sweet little girl, or at least for the rest of what was left of that week.
Flash forward to this week. I try to spend quite a bit of quality time with the little gals every morning and then try to devote my one on one time to the big guys during nap time and devote a good chunk of time to reading stories to everyone in the afternoon. We do have two stretches of time where they are expected to self play without my help. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I swear within 5 minutes of walking away to prepare lunch or a snack, someone is screaming. 95% of the time the one offended was Bren and the offender was the little gal. She has picked up some very bad habits at her home because she has two older siblings who can be very aggressive and fight when they don't get their way. It amazes me how a 13 month old can come at my 21 month old with pure anger written all over her face and just attack her. Usually it's because Brennan has something the little gal wants. Most of the time Brennan has done nothing to provoke it. My girls have never been like this. They've had a few spiffs here and there, but nothing that compares to this.
Brennan being such an emotional child gets her feelings hurt very easily by this aggressive behavior. Today I tried to get the little gal to say she was sorry in sign language and give Brennan a hug. Bren was scared to death to let her hug her. I felt so sorry for my sweetie. What's bizarre to me is that all this aggression is coming from such a tiny and young person.
I have been at a complete loss on how to teach this little gal that being aggressive towards others is wrong. She doesn't understand much of anything yet and certainly isn't talking. I've tried some sharing games to encourage her and teach her about taking turns and sharing. Her attention span is very short. I'm talking she can only sit through 2 pages in a book short. I have tried my usual tactics to help enhance her language acquisition which include pointing to things to label, label, label. Asking questions to get her interested in something so we can further explore things with language. I try reading to her everyday. I sing to her and try to do nursery rhymes with her. She just can't sit still for longer than a minute and so this part of her learning has been very difficult. Too me, it seems that cognitively she won't grasp that being aggressive hurts until she has a better mastery of language. Yes, appropriate discipline at this age mostly consists of redirection, but does that prevent it from happening again? Certainly not. At some point the little gal has got to learn that those behaviors are unacceptable.
So anyhow, between dealing with this and Bren's constant whining (which I attest to the fact that her language skills are just emerging and she can't always communicate how she feels or what she wants) my patience has been tested more than it has in a long time. BUT....somehow through it all I've felt sustained. This is not to say that I have been able to completely suppress feelings of frustration over it, but it has given me a drive to figure out an appropriate way to deal with it so that I can stop the behaviors and return that peace that the house once had before little gal turned into a toddler. I am driven to be a better mother and a better care taker to these children which means guiding these little lives into learning right from wrong . I have checked out parent help books from the library and ordered my own copy of Parenting with Love and Logic. I read it years ago, but it is now time to refresh. I am arming myself with an arsenol of ideas to help me overcome.
Through it all though, I haven't forgot to consult God in prayer. It may be as simple as taking a moment and saying, "What do I do God? Can you help me here?" I even pray in front of the children before our meals for everyone to get along, share, and be nice to each other; I find it no coincidence that my time with the children is often better after those prayers. I admit that I am not perfect and am in need of guidance. He's is teaching me. I am listening. I am learning. I have to say the only reason I feel as though I haven't lost my cool is because I feel him sustaining me. The old postpardum version of me would've flown off the handle and lost my cool countless times by now. It amazes me how differently one's perspective becomes when you remember to consult the greatest parent of all. He can't help you if you don't first invite him to help. As my mom always says, God is a gentleman. He would never impose. He's just waiting for you to ask.
Thank you Jesus. This is a tough job, but you have held me up through the challenge;)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Some day
I know I talk about this a lot, but I guess a lot of thoughts have been stirred up today after reading through this book I checked out at the library yesterday called, The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone. Honestly I didn't have a clue that Alicia Silverstone was even vegan until I happened to see her on Oprah and heard her mention she wrote a book. I was obviously intrigued. The transition to vegetarian was so much easier than I expected, but I told myself there's no way I could ever be vegan. Give up cheese, eggs, milk and other dairy products! No way!
On the show she kept saying that her recipes are so delicious you don't feel like your giving up anything. She also said that you'll feel better, look better, etc. etc. I was curious. At the beginning of the book she makes the most compelling case against consuming any animal products. Most of it is all health related and she is sure to site many studies. You get a good picture of what animal products do to your body and how your body will react when you switch to this diet. At times it almost seems a little cheesy as she talks about how she just "loves" more as a result of this new diet. And of course, no case could be as compelling without a few miracle stories of people who had cancer or other illnesses that magically disappeared on this diet.
Then she moves on to teach you how to shop for healthy whole foods, which one to buy, and lastly a bunch of recipes for these. It really is very thorough and takes careful time to address typical questions about going vegan.
I would love, love, love to try this. If it really is as good to your body as it claims to be, prevents you from ever getting sick, makes you feel better than you ever felt makes you look better than you ever looked, and it really is as tasty as she claims, why wouldn't I? Here's the but part......my husband is tolerant of my recent switch to becoming a vegetarian. If I were to take cheese and dairy out of our diet...he may disown me. Also, let's face it, to eat this way I would have to go to a health food store to buy a lot of products for our meals. Those products aren't exactly friendly to the shoestring budget we live in. It would take a lot of time and preparation to make a switch this drastic.Being a mom and daycare worker doesn't leave me with a lot of time to prepare stuff like this. Half (if not most) of the products listed in these recipes look like a foreign language to me. I suspect that I could spend hours in a whole foods store just reading the boxes and labels and figuring out how to cook the stuff. And I can't even imagine getting the kids to eat these foods.
I already get crazy looks from many people and even judgmental snickers from others about going vegetarian. I just chalk it up to a lack of education. People just ASSUME that being vegetarian means food will taste bad. When you know the truth, you almost feel sorry for those people.
So.....someday.....someday I am going to try this. I may hate it, I may love it. It may have to wait until my kids are grown and gone and we are no longer supporting them so I can afford to buy these new and healthy foods. But...I am putting this on my bucket list of things to try before I die. Even if it's for a month, I want to try it. Who knows, maybe it will help me kick that sugar addiction I so long to kick. Alicia says it will LOL.
On the show she kept saying that her recipes are so delicious you don't feel like your giving up anything. She also said that you'll feel better, look better, etc. etc. I was curious. At the beginning of the book she makes the most compelling case against consuming any animal products. Most of it is all health related and she is sure to site many studies. You get a good picture of what animal products do to your body and how your body will react when you switch to this diet. At times it almost seems a little cheesy as she talks about how she just "loves" more as a result of this new diet. And of course, no case could be as compelling without a few miracle stories of people who had cancer or other illnesses that magically disappeared on this diet.
Then she moves on to teach you how to shop for healthy whole foods, which one to buy, and lastly a bunch of recipes for these. It really is very thorough and takes careful time to address typical questions about going vegan.
I would love, love, love to try this. If it really is as good to your body as it claims to be, prevents you from ever getting sick, makes you feel better than you ever felt makes you look better than you ever looked, and it really is as tasty as she claims, why wouldn't I? Here's the but part......my husband is tolerant of my recent switch to becoming a vegetarian. If I were to take cheese and dairy out of our diet...he may disown me. Also, let's face it, to eat this way I would have to go to a health food store to buy a lot of products for our meals. Those products aren't exactly friendly to the shoestring budget we live in. It would take a lot of time and preparation to make a switch this drastic.Being a mom and daycare worker doesn't leave me with a lot of time to prepare stuff like this. Half (if not most) of the products listed in these recipes look like a foreign language to me. I suspect that I could spend hours in a whole foods store just reading the boxes and labels and figuring out how to cook the stuff. And I can't even imagine getting the kids to eat these foods.
I already get crazy looks from many people and even judgmental snickers from others about going vegetarian. I just chalk it up to a lack of education. People just ASSUME that being vegetarian means food will taste bad. When you know the truth, you almost feel sorry for those people.
So.....someday.....someday I am going to try this. I may hate it, I may love it. It may have to wait until my kids are grown and gone and we are no longer supporting them so I can afford to buy these new and healthy foods. But...I am putting this on my bucket list of things to try before I die. Even if it's for a month, I want to try it. Who knows, maybe it will help me kick that sugar addiction I so long to kick. Alicia says it will LOL.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Things I've learned
These past 5 years have been huge learning years for me when it comes to parenting and children in general. So many highs and lows. I really feel like a yoyo sometimes. But after raising two girls and watching up to 6 children in the past several years that are not my own, I have come up with the top lessons I've learned and wanted to share when it comes to raising young children. This is long, but if you need a refresher on some of the top parenting tips (many which I'm sure you already know or have heard) this post is for you.
1. Parenting requires the most patience you have ever had to give in your ENTIRE life.
2. Children are like gas tanks. If you they don't have their fill of you, you can bet your pretty pennies that they will challenge you. Children with full gas tanks always behave better. They need time and attention from you to be filled.
3. Schedules (in my opinion) are a must. Children who know what to expect are less likely to act out.
4. Snacks ALMOST always will save you when you are out in public.
5. Children need adequate sleep and if they don't get it you better bet they are going to act up.
6. It is OK to expect children to entertain themselves, for their own good, and for your sanity. It really is an important developmental skill.
7. Reading to your child is one of the most beneficial and important things you will ever do for them. Children who grow up with a passion for reading fostered by their parents usually have a passion for learning.
8. Never expect a child to act a certain way unless you yourself model that behavior. Monkey see monkey do.
9. Always try to remain calm when disciplining your child. They need to be focused on their behevior not yours.
10. Make play time learning time. Young children, especially, learn through play. For example, instead of asking them to make you a meal in their play kitchen, ask them to make a plate with three different foods on it (counting), or make a plate with red food (colors). You get my point.
11. Always foster creativity. Crafts, coloring, painting are wonderful ways to do this and they do wonders for fostering a love of learning because they are awesome teaching tools.
12. Always offer choices (only ones you can live with). Use a little "Parenting with Love and Logic." It's good stuff.
13. Put yourself in their shoes (this has been especially helpful to me when I am working with other people's children).
14. Remember the age you are dealing with and don't expect them to act years beyond their current age.
15. Never beat yourself up if you fail, remember tomorrow is a new day and another chance to get it right.
16. Potty training will NEVER be the same experience for all children. Each one in his or her own way and time.
17. Be on the same page with your spouse on parenting.
18. Physical activity is so important for children, give them opportunities to move often.
19. Children need to be around other children. It is so important for their development.
20. Children need to be around other adults other than you.
21. As draining as it may be, stay on top of children to use their manners, show respect, always tell the truth, and to show others love (especially to their siblings). I willing to bet, in the end you'll be glad you did.
22. Don't forget to discuss God's word and use that as a tool when disciplining children. Let them know his expecations of them.
23. When you feel like you are about to loose it, confess that to him, ask for his help, calm down, and listen. 9 times out of 10 you'll know what to do.
24. Don't forget to feed yourself and who you are. You can't loose your identity in your children. They need to see that you are a real person with other passions and hobbies, not just their Mom or Dad.
25. Don't forget to feed your marriage. When all the kids are grown and gone, you will have each other. Keep that connection alive or you may be looking at each other and wonder who you are as a couple.
26. Let your children fail. Failure is sometimes a better teacher than anything you could ever do or tell them.
27. Let go of the control. (this one is tough for me sometimes). For example, the only way they're ever going to learn to use a spoon is if you quit spooning it in their mouth. The only way they'll learn to drink from a real cup is to take away the sippies. Sure, it's going to be more, messy work for awhile, but in the end it will make your life A LOT easier.
28. Let your children see your emotions good and bad. It teaches them how to deal with them in a healthy way.
29. It's OK to admit that you screwed up to your children and apologize to them. It teaches them that no one is perfect and that sometimes the right thing to do is admit that and say you're sorry.
30. Be on your knees in prayer for your children. They need this now and forever. We fight a very strong enemy out there and he would like nothing more than to get his mitts on your precious little people.
31. Be on your knees in prayer for yourself. That same enemy may try to use your children to make you wallow in self pity, doubt, fear, and anger. Also, don't forget to pray for him to guide you in how to be the best parent you can be. He loves teaching you how to do this, if you let him.
32. Don't isolate yourself from other couples and families, especially if you have no family in town. Young parents NEED a support system and need to show support to others too. Making new friends at this stage in life is tough, the only way to do it is to just get out there and make it happen.
33. Having fun and making memories with your children doesn't have to cost money.
34. With each year of age start giving your children more responsibility, but not more than they are capable of bearing for their age. Children should all learn how to be contributing members to their family. Mom and Dad are not their slaves.
25. Teach children a love of giving and helping others. It models Christ in their lives.
26. As hard as it is, don't nag your children. Instead get clever. Their are so many parenting resources out there that can give you different ideas of how get children to do or stop doing certain things. Go out there and find them. The only way you are going to know if they work is to try them.
27. If a certain method isn't working, find something that does. Don't beat a dead horse.
28. All children will be picky eaters at some point. Feed them at the appropriate times a well balanced healthy meal. If they don't eat it, so be it. Hunger is a better teacher than you shoving it down their throat. Let them have the control of choosing to eat it or not. If they don't, it was their choice to starve, not your bad parenting. And negotiating (don't think of it bribery) is a useful tool here too. "You eat 5 bites of broccoli and you can have a little bit of dessert." The idea is to get the taste in their mouth so they start to acquire it. Most children don't want to try something they don't recognize. The more they put it in their mouth, the more familiar the look and taste will be, and you'll be surprised how often they start to actually like it after using this technique. Before long, negotiations may be a thing of the past. And a little side note here, resist to the urge to say I told you so if they don't eat it and complain about being hungry later. Just say something like, "Good thing I'm going to cook you a nice healthy meal or snack at "such and such" time.
29. While we are on the issue of food, I am a firm believer that a healthy diet is crucial. It prevents behavior issues, fosters a healthy body and brain, and teaches them how to take care of themselves and make good decisions on what to put in our bodies.
30. Last but not least, remember that your children are not your own. They are God's children, given to you to borrow for a short time. Make the most of your time with them because you don't want to look back one day and realize it is too late. No regrets. Send them off to start their lives knowing you did everything you could to make them be happy, successful, and full of God's love.
By the way, I in no way think of myself as an expert. Many of the things in this list I have come up with by trial and error. Sometimes it just feels good to write it all down. It's a lot to take in and it will serve as a good reminder of what works, if I ever forget. Hope you can get something out of it too.
1. Parenting requires the most patience you have ever had to give in your ENTIRE life.
2. Children are like gas tanks. If you they don't have their fill of you, you can bet your pretty pennies that they will challenge you. Children with full gas tanks always behave better. They need time and attention from you to be filled.
3. Schedules (in my opinion) are a must. Children who know what to expect are less likely to act out.
4. Snacks ALMOST always will save you when you are out in public.
5. Children need adequate sleep and if they don't get it you better bet they are going to act up.
6. It is OK to expect children to entertain themselves, for their own good, and for your sanity. It really is an important developmental skill.
7. Reading to your child is one of the most beneficial and important things you will ever do for them. Children who grow up with a passion for reading fostered by their parents usually have a passion for learning.
8. Never expect a child to act a certain way unless you yourself model that behavior. Monkey see monkey do.
9. Always try to remain calm when disciplining your child. They need to be focused on their behevior not yours.
10. Make play time learning time. Young children, especially, learn through play. For example, instead of asking them to make you a meal in their play kitchen, ask them to make a plate with three different foods on it (counting), or make a plate with red food (colors). You get my point.
11. Always foster creativity. Crafts, coloring, painting are wonderful ways to do this and they do wonders for fostering a love of learning because they are awesome teaching tools.
12. Always offer choices (only ones you can live with). Use a little "Parenting with Love and Logic." It's good stuff.
13. Put yourself in their shoes (this has been especially helpful to me when I am working with other people's children).
14. Remember the age you are dealing with and don't expect them to act years beyond their current age.
15. Never beat yourself up if you fail, remember tomorrow is a new day and another chance to get it right.
16. Potty training will NEVER be the same experience for all children. Each one in his or her own way and time.
17. Be on the same page with your spouse on parenting.
18. Physical activity is so important for children, give them opportunities to move often.
19. Children need to be around other children. It is so important for their development.
20. Children need to be around other adults other than you.
21. As draining as it may be, stay on top of children to use their manners, show respect, always tell the truth, and to show others love (especially to their siblings). I willing to bet, in the end you'll be glad you did.
22. Don't forget to discuss God's word and use that as a tool when disciplining children. Let them know his expecations of them.
23. When you feel like you are about to loose it, confess that to him, ask for his help, calm down, and listen. 9 times out of 10 you'll know what to do.
24. Don't forget to feed yourself and who you are. You can't loose your identity in your children. They need to see that you are a real person with other passions and hobbies, not just their Mom or Dad.
25. Don't forget to feed your marriage. When all the kids are grown and gone, you will have each other. Keep that connection alive or you may be looking at each other and wonder who you are as a couple.
26. Let your children fail. Failure is sometimes a better teacher than anything you could ever do or tell them.
27. Let go of the control. (this one is tough for me sometimes). For example, the only way they're ever going to learn to use a spoon is if you quit spooning it in their mouth. The only way they'll learn to drink from a real cup is to take away the sippies. Sure, it's going to be more, messy work for awhile, but in the end it will make your life A LOT easier.
28. Let your children see your emotions good and bad. It teaches them how to deal with them in a healthy way.
29. It's OK to admit that you screwed up to your children and apologize to them. It teaches them that no one is perfect and that sometimes the right thing to do is admit that and say you're sorry.
30. Be on your knees in prayer for your children. They need this now and forever. We fight a very strong enemy out there and he would like nothing more than to get his mitts on your precious little people.
31. Be on your knees in prayer for yourself. That same enemy may try to use your children to make you wallow in self pity, doubt, fear, and anger. Also, don't forget to pray for him to guide you in how to be the best parent you can be. He loves teaching you how to do this, if you let him.
32. Don't isolate yourself from other couples and families, especially if you have no family in town. Young parents NEED a support system and need to show support to others too. Making new friends at this stage in life is tough, the only way to do it is to just get out there and make it happen.
33. Having fun and making memories with your children doesn't have to cost money.
34. With each year of age start giving your children more responsibility, but not more than they are capable of bearing for their age. Children should all learn how to be contributing members to their family. Mom and Dad are not their slaves.
25. Teach children a love of giving and helping others. It models Christ in their lives.
26. As hard as it is, don't nag your children. Instead get clever. Their are so many parenting resources out there that can give you different ideas of how get children to do or stop doing certain things. Go out there and find them. The only way you are going to know if they work is to try them.
27. If a certain method isn't working, find something that does. Don't beat a dead horse.
28. All children will be picky eaters at some point. Feed them at the appropriate times a well balanced healthy meal. If they don't eat it, so be it. Hunger is a better teacher than you shoving it down their throat. Let them have the control of choosing to eat it or not. If they don't, it was their choice to starve, not your bad parenting. And negotiating (don't think of it bribery) is a useful tool here too. "You eat 5 bites of broccoli and you can have a little bit of dessert." The idea is to get the taste in their mouth so they start to acquire it. Most children don't want to try something they don't recognize. The more they put it in their mouth, the more familiar the look and taste will be, and you'll be surprised how often they start to actually like it after using this technique. Before long, negotiations may be a thing of the past. And a little side note here, resist to the urge to say I told you so if they don't eat it and complain about being hungry later. Just say something like, "Good thing I'm going to cook you a nice healthy meal or snack at "such and such" time.
29. While we are on the issue of food, I am a firm believer that a healthy diet is crucial. It prevents behavior issues, fosters a healthy body and brain, and teaches them how to take care of themselves and make good decisions on what to put in our bodies.
30. Last but not least, remember that your children are not your own. They are God's children, given to you to borrow for a short time. Make the most of your time with them because you don't want to look back one day and realize it is too late. No regrets. Send them off to start their lives knowing you did everything you could to make them be happy, successful, and full of God's love.
By the way, I in no way think of myself as an expert. Many of the things in this list I have come up with by trial and error. Sometimes it just feels good to write it all down. It's a lot to take in and it will serve as a good reminder of what works, if I ever forget. Hope you can get something out of it too.
Friday, August 27, 2010
For a little girl's birthday...
Lovely visit
Monday, August 23, 2010
Different
Every week I like to try at least one new vegetarian recipe. This is one I cooked up last night It's called cheesy eggplant burgers. I LOVED it! The family, on the other hand, not so much. I guess I can't really blame the kids as it is a little out there for little kid taste buds. Jeff is very picky, so I can't really expect much there. BUT....for someone with a wide pallet, this is perfect. It is really like bruschetta with eggplant. It does have Gouda cheese which was a first for me. Not something I will do often as that cheese is expensive. Anyhoo...I wanted to share as I thought it was delish. Sorry...I couldn't resist but take a couple bites before I snapped the photo.
http://www.recipe.com/cheesy-eggplant-burgers/
http://www.recipe.com/cheesy-eggplant-burgers/
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Margaret Sling Bag
After sewing so many things for other people, I start to itch to sew something for myself. I saw this tutorial and fell in love with this bag. I wanted to do it as low of budget as possible, so I didn't put the interfacing in it as the tutorial called for since I didn't have any. The outer fabric was an old pillow case that I bought to help me make those baby bibs awhile back. The lining was fabric that was given to me for free a little over a year ago. It really was an easy bag to make. The bulk of the time to make it was cutting out all the pieces. Assembling it went much quicker. It does have two pockets inside. It was hard to photo the inside as it was hard to hold it open and take a picture at the same time, sorry.
It is a little larger than I had hoped it would be. It also looks a bit like a diaper bag because of the fabric I used. I'm trying to decide exactly what to use it for. I currently use a backpack for my diaper bag. Hmmmm.....I'll think of something. A woman can never have too many bags;)
Anyhoo...here's the link to the tutorial.
http://www.ohfransson.com/oh_fransson/2008/11/margaret-sling-bag.html
It is a little larger than I had hoped it would be. It also looks a bit like a diaper bag because of the fabric I used. I'm trying to decide exactly what to use it for. I currently use a backpack for my diaper bag. Hmmmm.....I'll think of something. A woman can never have too many bags;)
Anyhoo...here's the link to the tutorial.
http://www.ohfransson.com/oh_fransson/2008/11/margaret-sling-bag.html
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