I wonder.

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when the girls are older.  The responsibilities as a mother when they are so young at times can be overwhelming.  The CONSTANT picking up toys.  The CONSTANT cleaning up crumbs off the floor. The constant treating of carpets for spit up, mud from shoes, spills from sippies.  The CONSTANT making and cleaning up snacks.  The CONSTANT changing and washing diapers.  The CONSTANT laundry and stain treating of all those tiny clothes. Watching two other children day in and day out that are not my own only amplifies everything.

I wonder what my house will be like in the next season of life?  Right now it seems to be overtaken by all things baby: highchairs, toys, exersaucers, bottles (granted much of which I have to hang onto because of the daycare), diaper pails, sippies, bibs, wipes, etc. etc.  I think about how much space I will have without all this stuff here.  I am SOOOO thankful I have more storage this time around thanks to an unfinished basement.  And I sheepishly admit at times my mind wanders and thinks maybe this would be easier if I had a bigger house....but then I think that's NUTS!  I have enough to care for and take care of the way it is.  Sure I don't have a pantry and have to store all food in the laundry room.  I have no where to put my kitchen trash, so it also sits in the laundry room.  I do not have a linen closet, so all extra towels sit on a shelf in my clothes closet and all coats are hanging on the wall in the hall.  I digress.

In a sense I know it will be easier....and harder when they are older.  I don't look forward to the teenage hormones and arguments. I don't look forward to the attitudes and laziness that I know can come with a teenager.  BUT....they will be old enough to really help.  They won't be litering the house from one end to another with toys (perhaps socks and shoes).  I can sit down with them and have somewhat adult conversations and reason with them....gulp...I hope.  What an interesting change in life that will be.  I look forward to it even with all the new headaches that it may bring.

As I reflect on now I think that realize that it is all a bit tiresome and overwhelming, but the alternative, NO WAY.  I'll take all the endless diapers, laundry, cleaning, picking up toys anyday.  A life without my children, to me, wouldn't be a happy one.  I am so much more fulfilled.  So today as I step on crumbs that stick to my feet and think to myself, "Ugh!  I need to clean that up....AGAIN,"  I'm going to hold my head up high and remember that this is the life I chose and I would never wish it any differently.   My house is overtaken with children's stuff, the tubs and floors aren't as clean as I'd like for them to be, the cabinets and drawers aren't as organized as I'd like them to be, but none the less...our house is a happy house.  Dare I think I will actually miss these problems one day?  Not because I enjoyed the problems, but because of a happy time in my life that they represented.