Here is some good news in my world. The Tuesday before Easter I decided it was time to be healthier. There were various reasons I wanted to do this. There were a few odd things my body was doing that weren't normal for me and I suspected my diet was part of the problem. Also, at the time, we were still planning a beach vacation this summer and I wanted to look good for pictures. Lastly, I just wanted to be healthier for myself and my family. So....I finally bit the bullet and made some changes.
I wouldn't call myself a yo-yo dieter per say. I have been on a few diets in my time, but it's not constantly up and down. Last time I changed the way I ate was several years ago when I went vegetarian for an entire year. Then there was another time years before that I counted calories keeping a food log and increasing my activity. Both of those worked for me, but niether were what I would call sustainable because they were hard to maintain and continue. They were just......work.
I don't even like the word diet. In my opinion when you hear that word, you think of a temporary plan to get weight off. It can also be associated with the notion of being deprived in some way. Deprivation of carbs, deprivation of meat, you name it. Then, when you do get the weight off, what then? How do you maintain? Continual deprivation of something or another just seems irrational to me and not very practical for the long term.
Therefore, I knew this time it had to be different. As they all say, being healthy isn't temporary, it literally is a lifestyle change. That's not to say I will be strong enough to do this my whole life. I always do fall off the bandwagon and then eventually I become uncomfortable enough to get my butt in gear and do something. I am in that season currently. You never know though, I may just surprise myself.
So here was my plan:
#1 Get control of the sugar. Halloween got me on this roller coaster of constant sweets. It snowballed when Christmas came, then New Years, then Valentines, then birthdays. It never stops. Eventually it was just common place to always have a sweet after every meal. To crave it after EVERY meal. Our sweet Saturday had literally gone out the window.
#2 Part of controlling sugar was also cutting back on carbs. I'm not saying cut it out of my diet all together, but cut back. Not every meal has to have bread of some kind. I started subbing out bread for lettuce wraps. I started making more meals consisting of meat, veggies, and fruit.
#3 Exercise portion control. Jeff had found some dishes that were an exact match to the set we already had, but were larger than the salad plates and smaller than the dinner plates. They were perfect sized. I could fill them up and when I ran out of space, that was it. No seconds. Also, I made sure to make the bulk of the plate veggies, and fruit with a little meat and bread. When I first started this, I would finish my plate and naturally want more because I was used to eating more. But what I found, and what I had suspected all along, once my food had time to settle for 10 minutes, I wasn't hungry after all. Eventually, my body acclimated to smaller portions and I would feel full when I was done with my plate. And even though I knew I was eating less, it didn't seem that way because my smaller plate was covered in food. Something about seeing an entire plate covered with food just makes you feel like you're getting enough even if it is a smaller plate. Weird and hard to explain.
#4 Make the foods I was preparing cleaner. I started researching easy, quick, and healthy lunch ideas. Instead of sauces and dressings, I started using different kinds of olives, peppers, feta cheese, and spices to add that burst of flavor the sauces used to get me. When you entertain your pallet with new and exciting flavors, you don't crave as much food. It is just more exciting to eat. Preparing lunches was a little more work than it used to be, but I didn't mind because it was exciting creating new things I never tried and I was so excited to try them at work the next day.
#5 Find suitable replacements for things I love so I don't have to give up family traditions. I would NEVER be able to stay on this meal plan if I had to give up pizza family movie night and sweet saturday. I found a cauliflower pizza crust recipe and gave it a try. To my amazement it was delish and SUPER close to the real deal. Close enough that I didn't feel like I was missing my old frozen pizza. I also started looking up all sorts of yummy low calorie fruit smoothies that were wonderful replacements for the big sweet I would have every sweet Saturday. Chocolate/Protein (all made with very healthy natural ingredients) shakes were a great meal replacements for my Saturday morning bagels with nutella. When you don't feel deprived, you don't feel like giving up.
#6 Give up soda. This was a sad one for me. I always look forward to one coke zero every day after school. It was a like a reward at the end of the day. However, I know that stuff is horrible for you and have read multiple times it can hinder weight loss. I have replaced my soda with a pitcher of green tea I make to get me through a week at a time sweetened with stevia. It seems to be doing the trick. Also, I have stopped using creamers loaded with sugar and switched to coconut oil and stevia in my coffee each morning.
I am now almost five weeks in and I have lost 12 pounds. I have only veered off my plan twice. We had some left over cadbury eggs that had haunted me day after day when I started. I finally gave myself permission to have one. Cravings for that have pretty much gone. Friday, the family wanted to go to pizza hut to cash in book it coupons for Brennan. I could choose to starve until I got home and watch everyone else eat feeling sorry for myself, or just give myself permission to splurge. I decided it's OK to splurge and probably necessary so you don't start to resent your commitment to the plan. Again, if you allow yourself occasional splurges you don't feel like your punishing yourself. As long as the splurges are few and far inbetween I see no harm in doing them.
So how do I feel? Mentally I feel good knowing I am taking better care of my body. Some of my symptoms of eating too much sugar have started to go away. It's nice that my clothes are no longer snug and are even starting to sag a little. If I loose more I will probably have to go down a size. I'm not sure how much more I will loose until things start to level out. I figure I'll just let my body keep going to where it wants to be on this plan and when it finds its happy weight on this plan, I'll be happy with it whatever it may be. As long as I'm healthy, there shouldn't be a certain number I have to be. I am currently 5 pounds under my wedding day weight which is surprising since I don't feel like I am depriving myself of anything. I am full, content, my pallet is entertained. It is a good place to be. Here's to maintaining. I have a good thing going.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Been awhile
It's been too long since my last post. I'm not sure if my need for this outlet is less, my time to put into it is less, or I'm afraid of posting things that are too negative and just refrain. Maybe it's all of the above. None the less, those few followers that keep up with us might appreciate an update every now and then so here goes.
Jeff-Jeff is up knee deep in studies for his CFP now. For those who don't know what that is, it's basically like a masters degree in the financial world. Everyone who has taken it says how hard it is. This step in his career is needed to take him to the next level and also make him eligible to be partner at his firm. He spends nights and weekends studying. I'm very proud of his diligence and determination. So far so good. Two tests done and he passed both. His next one is sometime this summer.
Kadyn-Kadyn is doing well in school, and into her friends more than ever this year. She is really enjoying her C4 class (gifted class) and tells about it all the time. She has made a new friend in the class which she has become close too. Her only extra curriccular is piano now. This has had ups and downs. Kadyn usually catches on quickly to concepts, but that doesn't always mean her fingers do what her brain tells them too. It frustrates her when things don't come quickly to her and she has to redo them several times. This has been a big learning curve for her when it comes to playing an instrument. Also, (and I knew this might happen) she forgets to treat me like her teacher which means she will say or do things that she wouldn't otherwise do with a different teacher. We're working on it, but it isn't easy. Her goal is to switch to violin, which I have agreed to let her do if she finishes her second method book on piano first. We shall see.
Brennan-Brennan is growing leaps and bounds mentally and physcially. She is reading pretty good now and has become eligible to be in a book club (enrichment for the upper kids). She hasn't gotten any close friends this year, which has bothered her from time to time, but she keeps on trying. She got a speaking part in her Kindergarten play along with several other kids. Yes, being her music teacher made me a little partial to pick her, but also I knew I could depend on her to learn the part since I am her mom. She memorized her lines and spoke them like a champ. Not an ounce of nerves. Doesn't get that confidence from me. Her piano skills are coming along about as I would expect for a Kindergartener. Both girls are LOVING the trampoline and are on it constantly. I keep thinking the newness will wear off, but not yet. It's nice having them in plane sight out my back door.
Me-So much to say. I have wanted to post before on things going on in my life, but refrained because I didn't want to come off negative all the time. This year has been good, but trying at times. Things in the education world are changing so quickly. Some of the changes this year have been very difficult and if I'm being frank, downright unfair. My spirit got crushed a little bit because of it. If you want specifics, you'll have to talk to me directly.
Also, this year some of my colleagues did things that were hurtful to me. I have always raved about them, and I still think highly of them as teachers, I am just saddened by their actions. The good news is I pulled up my boot straps and tried to be the bigger person. It made me step back and really think. God helped me realize that people will let you down no matter how hard you try, because all people are sinful. He also reminded me that I have no control over other people, BUT I do have control over myself and how I choose to react. It inspired me to work on me to make sure I do not become the very things that hurt me. I worked hard to build relationships with folks I work with this year by being more social at lunch with them. This is a little out of my comfort zone, I tend to be more on an introvert. However, after my experience with individuals I have decided to draw back again and accepted that it's OK to be me. I now feel my time is better spent eating lunch in my room alone, doing a short bible study and praying. I have started praying a lot for folks at school. They are in the trenches with the same kids day in and day out dealing with some pretty heavy stuff personally and professionally. I know what some of them deal with constantly as I have to deal with it too, only in fifty minute increments and only once a week per class. It can be very draining. So rather then hold resentment, I choose love. I choose forgiveness. I choose support through prayer and smiles in the hallway. I choose to ask them how they are doing. Even if those gestures will never be returned to me, and usually they aren't, these are the choices I am doing because I know it is right.
I can say that my efforts and work to build relationships with my students returns to me ten fold, especially at the primary level. I am always showered with hugs and I love yous and compliments about class. In the end, as long as my students are happy, I'm happy and I can consider my day a success.
In other news, our yard looks better than ever. I spent way to much, as I do every year replanting things and grooming up things this spring. I take great pride in our yard. Dare I say, it's the best one in the neighborhood? I can't wait for the day when we live next to people who have as much passion for a great looking lawn as we do. We are the odd ducks in our neighborhood. Most people here grow a nice patch of weeds, overgrown landscaping put in odd places, and maybe a car or two parked on the lawn. Sigh! Needless to say, we both know that this is NOT our forever home. I think the nail in the coffin that was sign we will be moving on someday was the feuding neighbors. Since we have had new renters move in across the street, our yard and others around us have become a litter box for their 5 animals. Nothing like having your husband step in a nice pile of mushy poo when mowing the lawn then leaving his poo boots to stink up the whole garage. Nothing like having to shoe other people's cats out of your garage so you can close the garage door and having your windshield covered in paw prints.
The cats had several litter of kittens and one litter of puppies. We found a kitten dying by our house infested with fleas. Their dog drug a dead deer head (with a tag on it's ear) into our yard. They sometimes dump their trash in our trashcan. They went from 2 vehicles to 4, two of which they park on the street and one is disabled. Their child leaves her toys in our yard and doesn't pick them up. I could go on. We remarkably have kept our mouths shut even though my blood boils at times about it all. Our other neighbor couldn't put up with it anymore and it all turned into quite the feud which ended with minor destruction of her property and a shouting match with choice words in the street. It has made it all awkward for the kids who all play together. Stinking adults!
We are starting to dream of the home God will take us too next. It's going to be awesome! Strict homewoners association codes are looking pretty attractive right now for a future neighborhood. Still a long ways out, but I know it will happen when it's supposed too.
Summer plans have been changed for our family. We were going to do a beach vacation with friends, but we cancelled due to Jeff's studies. Just felt it was smarter to wait another year. I will be traveling with the girls and my sister and her kids to CO. Good news is, we can totally still have fun because of where we live. We plan on renting a boat and doing some tubing, hitting the beach all summer at the lake, and going to the water park at least once. Aw Branson! Gotta love it!
Well that about wraps it up. Next time I post, I'm sure summer will be upon us. I am so ready. I need to recharge my batteries for sure. So close!
Jeff-Jeff is up knee deep in studies for his CFP now. For those who don't know what that is, it's basically like a masters degree in the financial world. Everyone who has taken it says how hard it is. This step in his career is needed to take him to the next level and also make him eligible to be partner at his firm. He spends nights and weekends studying. I'm very proud of his diligence and determination. So far so good. Two tests done and he passed both. His next one is sometime this summer.
Kadyn-Kadyn is doing well in school, and into her friends more than ever this year. She is really enjoying her C4 class (gifted class) and tells about it all the time. She has made a new friend in the class which she has become close too. Her only extra curriccular is piano now. This has had ups and downs. Kadyn usually catches on quickly to concepts, but that doesn't always mean her fingers do what her brain tells them too. It frustrates her when things don't come quickly to her and she has to redo them several times. This has been a big learning curve for her when it comes to playing an instrument. Also, (and I knew this might happen) she forgets to treat me like her teacher which means she will say or do things that she wouldn't otherwise do with a different teacher. We're working on it, but it isn't easy. Her goal is to switch to violin, which I have agreed to let her do if she finishes her second method book on piano first. We shall see.
Brennan-Brennan is growing leaps and bounds mentally and physcially. She is reading pretty good now and has become eligible to be in a book club (enrichment for the upper kids). She hasn't gotten any close friends this year, which has bothered her from time to time, but she keeps on trying. She got a speaking part in her Kindergarten play along with several other kids. Yes, being her music teacher made me a little partial to pick her, but also I knew I could depend on her to learn the part since I am her mom. She memorized her lines and spoke them like a champ. Not an ounce of nerves. Doesn't get that confidence from me. Her piano skills are coming along about as I would expect for a Kindergartener. Both girls are LOVING the trampoline and are on it constantly. I keep thinking the newness will wear off, but not yet. It's nice having them in plane sight out my back door.
Me-So much to say. I have wanted to post before on things going on in my life, but refrained because I didn't want to come off negative all the time. This year has been good, but trying at times. Things in the education world are changing so quickly. Some of the changes this year have been very difficult and if I'm being frank, downright unfair. My spirit got crushed a little bit because of it. If you want specifics, you'll have to talk to me directly.
Also, this year some of my colleagues did things that were hurtful to me. I have always raved about them, and I still think highly of them as teachers, I am just saddened by their actions. The good news is I pulled up my boot straps and tried to be the bigger person. It made me step back and really think. God helped me realize that people will let you down no matter how hard you try, because all people are sinful. He also reminded me that I have no control over other people, BUT I do have control over myself and how I choose to react. It inspired me to work on me to make sure I do not become the very things that hurt me. I worked hard to build relationships with folks I work with this year by being more social at lunch with them. This is a little out of my comfort zone, I tend to be more on an introvert. However, after my experience with individuals I have decided to draw back again and accepted that it's OK to be me. I now feel my time is better spent eating lunch in my room alone, doing a short bible study and praying. I have started praying a lot for folks at school. They are in the trenches with the same kids day in and day out dealing with some pretty heavy stuff personally and professionally. I know what some of them deal with constantly as I have to deal with it too, only in fifty minute increments and only once a week per class. It can be very draining. So rather then hold resentment, I choose love. I choose forgiveness. I choose support through prayer and smiles in the hallway. I choose to ask them how they are doing. Even if those gestures will never be returned to me, and usually they aren't, these are the choices I am doing because I know it is right.
I can say that my efforts and work to build relationships with my students returns to me ten fold, especially at the primary level. I am always showered with hugs and I love yous and compliments about class. In the end, as long as my students are happy, I'm happy and I can consider my day a success.
In other news, our yard looks better than ever. I spent way to much, as I do every year replanting things and grooming up things this spring. I take great pride in our yard. Dare I say, it's the best one in the neighborhood? I can't wait for the day when we live next to people who have as much passion for a great looking lawn as we do. We are the odd ducks in our neighborhood. Most people here grow a nice patch of weeds, overgrown landscaping put in odd places, and maybe a car or two parked on the lawn. Sigh! Needless to say, we both know that this is NOT our forever home. I think the nail in the coffin that was sign we will be moving on someday was the feuding neighbors. Since we have had new renters move in across the street, our yard and others around us have become a litter box for their 5 animals. Nothing like having your husband step in a nice pile of mushy poo when mowing the lawn then leaving his poo boots to stink up the whole garage. Nothing like having to shoe other people's cats out of your garage so you can close the garage door and having your windshield covered in paw prints.
The cats had several litter of kittens and one litter of puppies. We found a kitten dying by our house infested with fleas. Their dog drug a dead deer head (with a tag on it's ear) into our yard. They sometimes dump their trash in our trashcan. They went from 2 vehicles to 4, two of which they park on the street and one is disabled. Their child leaves her toys in our yard and doesn't pick them up. I could go on. We remarkably have kept our mouths shut even though my blood boils at times about it all. Our other neighbor couldn't put up with it anymore and it all turned into quite the feud which ended with minor destruction of her property and a shouting match with choice words in the street. It has made it all awkward for the kids who all play together. Stinking adults!
We are starting to dream of the home God will take us too next. It's going to be awesome! Strict homewoners association codes are looking pretty attractive right now for a future neighborhood. Still a long ways out, but I know it will happen when it's supposed too.
Summer plans have been changed for our family. We were going to do a beach vacation with friends, but we cancelled due to Jeff's studies. Just felt it was smarter to wait another year. I will be traveling with the girls and my sister and her kids to CO. Good news is, we can totally still have fun because of where we live. We plan on renting a boat and doing some tubing, hitting the beach all summer at the lake, and going to the water park at least once. Aw Branson! Gotta love it!
Well that about wraps it up. Next time I post, I'm sure summer will be upon us. I am so ready. I need to recharge my batteries for sure. So close!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Just what I needed
Big long post about work stuff, if that bores you skip it.
Two weeks ago I had an awful afternoon. My afternoons on Thursday are filled with teaching 6th graders, my toughest bunch. I am on my second year of teaching these students. Last year my experiences with them was glorious. I loved working with these kiddos and they responded well to me and seemed to really enjoy class. My 6th graders that same year were a different story. They were "too cool" for school. They were rude, noncompliant, and disrespectful.
This year I started out the year very optimistic that my 6th graders would be different. After all, we had foundation to grow from that started last year. At first, it was different. However, after Christmas break something shifted. I did not change. The way I teach did not change, but they did. Suddenly I didn't recognize these kids I was teaching. Those same rude, noncompliant, and disrespectful attitudes slowly started creeping into class. That awful afternoon two weeks ago it all kind of came to a head. By the end of class I was almost in tears. It's hard to pour your heart and soul into something and to care as much as I do about what I do and who I do it for and then get treated the way these students were treating me. I missed the students they used to be. Who were these kids coming to my class every Thursday? They certainly couldn't be the ones I know and loved last year. I didn't deserve to be treated the way they were treating me, I knew it, and I knew they knew it too.
All the way home I just wanted to pour out my sorrows of the day, but Jeff wasn't home and my children weren't the right people spill my sorrows too. The entire 25 minute drive home it was all I could think about. I had a ball in my throat trying to choke back tears. I rarely have days like this. Most of my time I love what I do and feel good when I end my day. So when I do have days like this it just hits me hard. I knew only way to feel better was to give myself permission to get it out. After 10 minutes or so of being home, when the girls were occupied, I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the toilet and sobbed.
Afterwards I felt better, but not so much that I could just shake it off and move on. I dreaded going back and teaching these classes. I started to feel as though perhaps there was something I was doing wrong. I doubted my abilities.
The following day I had another break down overly an entirely different matter. Let's just say the expectations for teachers these days is so different from when I taught 7 years ago. The mountains of paperwork that is required for evaluations is ridiculous. The rate of change for these evaulations is quick and confusing. Expectations are unclear and standards are inconsistent. Have you ever heard a teacher say, "All I want to do is teach." I am totally feeling that with these changes. I hate all the red tape we are required to do to prove ourselves worthy enough to teach. A bunch of words on papers are not going to prove I'm a good teacher. Come watch me teach and ENTIRE lesson (I say entire because now all they do is watch you for 10 minute intervals), that's how you will know if I can teach. This causes a lot of stress for EVERYONE. Apparently, I wasn't the only one freaking out about this on this particular day. Several of my colleagues were dealing with the same anxiety about it all. It's so sad because everyone I work with is so good. None of them should have anything to worry about.
God knows me. It was as if he gave us all those snows days just for me. After these rough two days it just so happened I got a week off because of weather. It was perfect. I was not ready to go back and face those students. I was not ready to go back and deal with the new teacher evaluation system they had going. BUT....a week later, I felt recharged and ready to go.
I did a lot of praying. Praying for restoration. Prayer for courage. Prayer for forgiveness. BUT most of all, prayer that I could be a beacon for these students. A glimpse of his love no matter what they throw at me. What's weird is that during one of those prayers there was part of a song replaying in my head over and over. At first I paid no attention to it. My brain is always on autoreplay of some song or another. However, I think the spirit clued me in to really pay attention to this particular song that kept playing. The words were, "Keep on, keeping on, keeping on. Keep on driving ahead." It is a Christian song by For King and Country.
It was as if God was speaking directly to me to just keep on going. That it was going to be OK. So....I put on my big girl pants, splashed a smile on my face, and returned to work a week later. Day one back, I got a huge compliment on the paperwork (my unit) I submitted for part of my evaluation from my boss. At first, I was dumbfounded because I had just read the scores she gave me and they didn't seem so hot (which almost caused me another round of tears, geese!). Turns out I was using the wrong scoring guide when I was reading my scores and they actually were much better than I thought. Felt a little better after that. Classes that day went well. I almost felt back to my old self.
Flash forward to today. My first day back to my Intermediate school. I have not had those classes that gave me so many headaches yet, BUT I have had some of my 6th graders and those classes went smoothly today. One of my music colleagues actually came and observed me for part of my day. Later I asked him if he had any tips for me since he was an older, more experienced teacher than me. This was his response:
"The only thing I could think of while I was sitting there was, "I sure wish I was this good!" Sorry, all I can say is that you are a master teacher and everything I watched you do would probably never have occurred to me and made me feel both like I need to take a lesson and like our programs are in good shape for the coming years. You need to come watch me to give me some pointers... seriously."
Words can not express how good this made me feel. God knew just what I needed. Just like that, I felt assured that I was able to do this and do have what it takes to teach these ornery 6th graders. I just needed to keep on keeping on.
Thanks God. I can feel you cheering me on.
Two weeks ago I had an awful afternoon. My afternoons on Thursday are filled with teaching 6th graders, my toughest bunch. I am on my second year of teaching these students. Last year my experiences with them was glorious. I loved working with these kiddos and they responded well to me and seemed to really enjoy class. My 6th graders that same year were a different story. They were "too cool" for school. They were rude, noncompliant, and disrespectful.
This year I started out the year very optimistic that my 6th graders would be different. After all, we had foundation to grow from that started last year. At first, it was different. However, after Christmas break something shifted. I did not change. The way I teach did not change, but they did. Suddenly I didn't recognize these kids I was teaching. Those same rude, noncompliant, and disrespectful attitudes slowly started creeping into class. That awful afternoon two weeks ago it all kind of came to a head. By the end of class I was almost in tears. It's hard to pour your heart and soul into something and to care as much as I do about what I do and who I do it for and then get treated the way these students were treating me. I missed the students they used to be. Who were these kids coming to my class every Thursday? They certainly couldn't be the ones I know and loved last year. I didn't deserve to be treated the way they were treating me, I knew it, and I knew they knew it too.
All the way home I just wanted to pour out my sorrows of the day, but Jeff wasn't home and my children weren't the right people spill my sorrows too. The entire 25 minute drive home it was all I could think about. I had a ball in my throat trying to choke back tears. I rarely have days like this. Most of my time I love what I do and feel good when I end my day. So when I do have days like this it just hits me hard. I knew only way to feel better was to give myself permission to get it out. After 10 minutes or so of being home, when the girls were occupied, I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the toilet and sobbed.
Afterwards I felt better, but not so much that I could just shake it off and move on. I dreaded going back and teaching these classes. I started to feel as though perhaps there was something I was doing wrong. I doubted my abilities.
The following day I had another break down overly an entirely different matter. Let's just say the expectations for teachers these days is so different from when I taught 7 years ago. The mountains of paperwork that is required for evaluations is ridiculous. The rate of change for these evaulations is quick and confusing. Expectations are unclear and standards are inconsistent. Have you ever heard a teacher say, "All I want to do is teach." I am totally feeling that with these changes. I hate all the red tape we are required to do to prove ourselves worthy enough to teach. A bunch of words on papers are not going to prove I'm a good teacher. Come watch me teach and ENTIRE lesson (I say entire because now all they do is watch you for 10 minute intervals), that's how you will know if I can teach. This causes a lot of stress for EVERYONE. Apparently, I wasn't the only one freaking out about this on this particular day. Several of my colleagues were dealing with the same anxiety about it all. It's so sad because everyone I work with is so good. None of them should have anything to worry about.
God knows me. It was as if he gave us all those snows days just for me. After these rough two days it just so happened I got a week off because of weather. It was perfect. I was not ready to go back and face those students. I was not ready to go back and deal with the new teacher evaluation system they had going. BUT....a week later, I felt recharged and ready to go.
I did a lot of praying. Praying for restoration. Prayer for courage. Prayer for forgiveness. BUT most of all, prayer that I could be a beacon for these students. A glimpse of his love no matter what they throw at me. What's weird is that during one of those prayers there was part of a song replaying in my head over and over. At first I paid no attention to it. My brain is always on autoreplay of some song or another. However, I think the spirit clued me in to really pay attention to this particular song that kept playing. The words were, "Keep on, keeping on, keeping on. Keep on driving ahead." It is a Christian song by For King and Country.
It was as if God was speaking directly to me to just keep on going. That it was going to be OK. So....I put on my big girl pants, splashed a smile on my face, and returned to work a week later. Day one back, I got a huge compliment on the paperwork (my unit) I submitted for part of my evaluation from my boss. At first, I was dumbfounded because I had just read the scores she gave me and they didn't seem so hot (which almost caused me another round of tears, geese!). Turns out I was using the wrong scoring guide when I was reading my scores and they actually were much better than I thought. Felt a little better after that. Classes that day went well. I almost felt back to my old self.
Flash forward to today. My first day back to my Intermediate school. I have not had those classes that gave me so many headaches yet, BUT I have had some of my 6th graders and those classes went smoothly today. One of my music colleagues actually came and observed me for part of my day. Later I asked him if he had any tips for me since he was an older, more experienced teacher than me. This was his response:
"The only thing I could think of while I was sitting there was, "I sure wish I was this good!" Sorry, all I can say is that you are a master teacher and everything I watched you do would probably never have occurred to me and made me feel both like I need to take a lesson and like our programs are in good shape for the coming years. You need to come watch me to give me some pointers... seriously."
Words can not express how good this made me feel. God knew just what I needed. Just like that, I felt assured that I was able to do this and do have what it takes to teach these ornery 6th graders. I just needed to keep on keeping on.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Perfectly orchestrated
Sometimes I sit back and marvel at how God orchestrates our lives. Just today, I had my 3rd day off in a row. One for President's Day. Two snow days....maybe more. To keep myself from going stir crazy I create a to do list for every day I have had off. B's room got completely redone. The house has gotten cleaned, and now I am sewing....for work. 5 littles need some fake beards for our upcoming Kinder concert. As I was sewing I thought how helpful it is that learned how to sew back in middle school. It has come in handy on numerous occasions, but now for work. If I couldn't sew these little beards I would inevitably have to buy them with my own money. That could get expensive. Believe me, I checked.
I wondered, did God have this in mind when he led me down that path to learn how to sew all those years ago? He could have forseen having a child who needed pants hemmed because they didn't make any that fit her just right. He could have forseen needing a crafty outlet all those years of doing daycare, so I had something for me to help me feel sane. He could have forseen all those buttons that needed sewn back on and holes that needed patched. He could have forseen all these little concerts that required costumes that were just too expensive to buy. At the time, I had no clue how invaluable my sewing skills have become in my life. This is not to say that I'm the best seamstress around. I pale in comparison to many of my friends, but I know enough to get by and have a little fun too!
Then there is Jeff. Jeff learned how to golf as a 5th grader. He golfed competitively in High School and worked at a golf course for years. He got good enough at it that he even taught lessons. Ironically, golf has been a pretty big part of his job today. Inviting his clients to go golfing or to participate on a team with him in a tournament is part of his job. It builds relationships. There was no way he could have forseen that his hobby so many years ago would become such a great asset to his current line of work. He didn' t know that, but God did.
This may seem like peanuts to some, but not to me. It makes me stop and think, what things are my kids learning right now that are part of God's overall plan for them as he orchestrates their lives so perfectly? You just never know. So amazing, our God. He really does have a plan and it's amazing when you think how it all came together for you.
I wondered, did God have this in mind when he led me down that path to learn how to sew all those years ago? He could have forseen having a child who needed pants hemmed because they didn't make any that fit her just right. He could have forseen needing a crafty outlet all those years of doing daycare, so I had something for me to help me feel sane. He could have forseen all those buttons that needed sewn back on and holes that needed patched. He could have forseen all these little concerts that required costumes that were just too expensive to buy. At the time, I had no clue how invaluable my sewing skills have become in my life. This is not to say that I'm the best seamstress around. I pale in comparison to many of my friends, but I know enough to get by and have a little fun too!
Then there is Jeff. Jeff learned how to golf as a 5th grader. He golfed competitively in High School and worked at a golf course for years. He got good enough at it that he even taught lessons. Ironically, golf has been a pretty big part of his job today. Inviting his clients to go golfing or to participate on a team with him in a tournament is part of his job. It builds relationships. There was no way he could have forseen that his hobby so many years ago would become such a great asset to his current line of work. He didn' t know that, but God did.
This may seem like peanuts to some, but not to me. It makes me stop and think, what things are my kids learning right now that are part of God's overall plan for them as he orchestrates their lives so perfectly? You just never know. So amazing, our God. He really does have a plan and it's amazing when you think how it all came together for you.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
It is well, with my soul
I love that old hymn. It is one of my all time favorites. We are in such a happy place in our lives right now. Our family is healthy and thriving. Our new schedule is so much better and we are so much happier. Our finances are in good order with promise of even more financial security down the road. I am in a happy place in my job. I feel like I have a firm footing in what I do and get better and better with each passing day. I'm in that part of the school year where I'm really seeing the fruits of my hard labor from earlier. Being able to see growth in your students is so rewarding, mostly because you see how it changes them. They become confident. They become excited about learning and show their appreciation to you. The littles especially have been full of hugs for me this year and have been telling me they love me randomly quite often. One even raised his hand and declared he loved me in the middle of a lesson when my boss was in the room evaluating me. I guess she knows they like me. How can you not love them right back?
The girls are just awesome right now. Wonderful ages! Kadyn goes through waves of being difficult. Now she's in a good phase. The kids really enjoy their piano lessons with me and I really enjoy doing it for them. It has kind of ignited a music passion for the whole family. Jeff recently bought a new electric guitar and is now reteaching himself how to play again. Kadyn, pulled out her pink ukulele and has started playing it every single day for the past week. After I introduced her to chord charts a whole new world opened up for her and she can't seem to get enough. She has asked me to play along with her for the past three nights. We sing together, laugh together, play together. It is just so lovely. She has requested to take her uke to school tomorrow and play for her friends during share time at her gifted class. I'm a just tickled pink that she is excited about playing an instrument. Dare I even say I have been daydreaming about a family band down the road? Probably will stay a dream, but it's funny to imagine. Just tonight Brennan decided she wanted in on the family band fun and thinks she wants to save her allowance for a tambourine.
My free time is spent doing chores, playing the piano, playing my uke, and doing home improvement projects. Laundry has actually been enjoyable since we redid our laundry room. I feel like I'm in someone else's house just walking into the room. Jeff made this beautiful wooden accent wall in the room. I just love it!
The chore charts I wrote about in an earlier post are still in full swing and have helped tremendously as long as we remember to check them. Christmas break threw us off a little so it's taking a little while to get back into the routine of checking the chore chart, but when they do, our days run smoothly and it's nice not having to remind the kids to do this or that all the time. It just gets done.
We are all longing for a snow day around here. It's not that we really need a break, we just want a chance to use our new snow boots! Seriously, the only year I actually have full snow gear for the kids and it doesn't snow. I know there's still winter left, but it's not looking promising for flakes any time soon. Such a bummer!
We have things to look forward too. We are going to go on a minivaca to KC for Spring break and stay at the Great Wolf Lodge. It has an indoor water park that is supposed to be really cool. My parents are coming home with us for a couple days that week too. The girls have big plans to have a recital for Grandma and Grandpa when they arrive. We are in the beginning stages of setting up a big beach vacation with good friends of ours this summer. I will be making a trip to CO to visit family this summer. Of course there are long days at the local beach this summer to look forward too.
The kids got a trampoline this Christmas so we are looking forward to setting that up when the weather starts warming up.
We've had some unseasonably warm days this winter. The kids have actually started playing in their tree house and back wooded area we made for them last summer. (About time they used it). I think the little girl across the street finally feels more comfortable around us and away from her mother to actually come over and play in it so I'm hoping this is the start of our kids playing at our house with their friends a lot more. They get along so fabulously and can whittle away hours just paling around together, just the three of them. In and out of the house, at the tree house, riding their bikes around the culdesac, riding their scooters, playing downstairs. Meanwhile, I get a lot of time to just do things I like while they are playing with their friend. Just lovely.
Goodness, I am just so blessed right now. I really want to freeze time and stay in our happy place forever. I know life goes through highs and low. Thankful for the high we find ourselves in now. Know it won't last forever. Thankful anyhow. It is well with my soul.
The kids got a trampoline this Christmas so we are looking forward to setting that up when the weather starts warming up.
We've had some unseasonably warm days this winter. The kids have actually started playing in their tree house and back wooded area we made for them last summer. (About time they used it). I think the little girl across the street finally feels more comfortable around us and away from her mother to actually come over and play in it so I'm hoping this is the start of our kids playing at our house with their friends a lot more. They get along so fabulously and can whittle away hours just paling around together, just the three of them. In and out of the house, at the tree house, riding their bikes around the culdesac, riding their scooters, playing downstairs. Meanwhile, I get a lot of time to just do things I like while they are playing with their friend. Just lovely.
Goodness, I am just so blessed right now. I really want to freeze time and stay in our happy place forever. I know life goes through highs and low. Thankful for the high we find ourselves in now. Know it won't last forever. Thankful anyhow. It is well with my soul.
Monday, December 15, 2014
A day in my job the day before the concert
Today was stressful. I just needed to type through it to remind myself when everything goes great tomorrow night that it was all worth it.
7:40 a.m. arrive to school and immediately take mic stands to the stage for today's rehearsals. Look for mics, NO MICS!
7:45 Talk to Librarian to ask for help getting powerpoint to screen for concert
8:00 a.m. Hurry up and sing the birthday songs for birthday kids at weekly Monday assembly so I can get out of Dodge and find those mics. Took them to the intermediate school last year for the end of the year concert. They have to be there!
8:10 a.m. Can't track down janitor to check mic situation. Finally track him down. Nope, no mics. Janitor goes through band teacher's stuff, still no mics. Great! Did I somehow loose those mics last year? Feeling pretty crappy thinking I lost them.
8:30 Must email other music teachers to try to borrow extra mics.
8:45 Get extra decorations taped to stage. Crap I am running out of time! My first class is coming during my plan period because otherwise they wouldn't get music today since my big rehearsal with my other students is during their normal music time. Also, teachers don't take kindly to their classes missing music since that is their plan time. So I kindly give up my plan period for them. A shotty deal since out of all days I need a plan, the day before my concert is really not a good day to give it up, but gotta keep everyone happy. Sigh!
9:00 Here comes my first class.
9:30 Librarian comes into class. One mic has been found. Is that a choir of angels I hear? Apparently someone borrowed it and forgot to return it.
10:00 Get a call from band teacher offering to bring mics over but for some reason I can hear him and he can't hear me on the phone.
10:10 Another class comes in. Squirrely as ever. They're excited for the concert, and parties are coming, and Christmas is coming, and, and, and.
11:00 Here comes another class. I've got this one. At least I don't have to sing those bug songs again. Teaching normal lessons and not rehearsing for a concert is a nice break.
11:30 Library comes to class again with second mic. Yes! I am not going nuts. I did return those mics last year. It is not my fault. I feel a lot better.
11:40 One of my main characters not acting right, informs me he puked all weekend and wants to go to the nurse. Ends up going home. Another student same class informs me the same thing and goes home too, (I think.) Great!
11:50 Must eat lunch. Hope I can find enough time to get those cords taped down and mics hooked up. Snarf down lunch.
12:10 Hook up mics, but wait! Why isn't this mic jack working. What!!!!! I don't need this right now. Must send email to librarian. She's good at saving the day.
12:20 Here comes another class. Here we go with bug songs again. I'll be so glad when this concert is over. Librarian informs me all is well with mics. I told you she would save the day.
1:10 Here comes another class. Why does this class have to end at the exact time I need to be in the gym getting ready for our all group rehearsal. Take it easy Darci. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
2:00 I can hear the 1st graders lining up in the hallway. Thank goodness my class's teacher showed up on time.
2:05 Kids are lining up, excited and confused, even though we practiced this a thousand times. What? the music player isn't working. Must find librarian. She is paged, but she is teaching. Oh forget it, we have no time. Plug in the boombox and we will have to mic it.
2:10 Now one of the mics isn't working. Ok kids you'll have to share a mic.
2:15 on - Why is that character out with these characters in costume? She isn't supposed to come out for another two scenes. This speaker, and this speaker, and this speaker are sick? What? Please practice your lines queen bee, you have to have this down by tomorrow! Don't forget to pass the mic back to the boombox teacher so she can mic the song and then pass it back to the kids when it's time for their lines. Everyone, look at the director not at the actors. Special needs student is freaking out on the top riser, thankful for paras to take care of this but very distracting for me and others. Pay attention kiddos. No talking between songs. Guys why are you in the wrong order, we've practiced this a thousand times, today should be no different than any others. What, I forgot to put student names in the scripts the teachers were using back stage, small oversight. Sorry, I'll get that done asap.
3:00 Apparently, teachers got confused about dress attire for concert and parents have gotten mixed messages even though I sent home a flyer about it. It may be interesting to see what kids show up in. Note to self, send ANOTHER flyer home right before concert next year and make sure teachers are crystal clear on dress attire.
3:05 Here's the librarian back to save the day. A sight for sore eyes. Microphone cord replaced and now it is working again. Apparently music player won't read music that has been recorded onto blank CDs. Must track down original. Will have to use separate CD player for one song that has to be on recordable CD because I bought it off of itunes. Rest of music can be played from big sound system, not ideal, but we can make it work.
3:20 Bus duty
3:25 Deliver scripts back to teachers with names of speakers written in like they requested. Reassured by a teacher it will be all be ok tomorrow
3:30 Shut it everything down and pray tomorrow when it's for real goes much better. What are rehearsals for right? Text husband that wine may not cut it. I may actually need some hard liquor and need an advance on it instead of waiting to drink it in celebration of a concert done.
Sigh! LOL. It was a most stressful day, and yet I know when push comes to shove, it's going to be great, bugs and all. No pun intended. There is quite a high you get when it all comes together at the end, but let me say, it is not all peaches and cream getting there. Trying to organize 150 little bodies, songs, speaking parts, costumes, etc. is quite an undertaking. I just hope those teachers can understand that and don't think less of me when I act like a chicken with my head cut off during those rehearsals. I figure the only way to go after today is up. I mean really, could it get much worse? Wait, don't answer that.
7:40 a.m. arrive to school and immediately take mic stands to the stage for today's rehearsals. Look for mics, NO MICS!
7:45 Talk to Librarian to ask for help getting powerpoint to screen for concert
8:00 a.m. Hurry up and sing the birthday songs for birthday kids at weekly Monday assembly so I can get out of Dodge and find those mics. Took them to the intermediate school last year for the end of the year concert. They have to be there!
8:10 a.m. Can't track down janitor to check mic situation. Finally track him down. Nope, no mics. Janitor goes through band teacher's stuff, still no mics. Great! Did I somehow loose those mics last year? Feeling pretty crappy thinking I lost them.
8:30 Must email other music teachers to try to borrow extra mics.
8:45 Get extra decorations taped to stage. Crap I am running out of time! My first class is coming during my plan period because otherwise they wouldn't get music today since my big rehearsal with my other students is during their normal music time. Also, teachers don't take kindly to their classes missing music since that is their plan time. So I kindly give up my plan period for them. A shotty deal since out of all days I need a plan, the day before my concert is really not a good day to give it up, but gotta keep everyone happy. Sigh!
9:00 Here comes my first class.
9:30 Librarian comes into class. One mic has been found. Is that a choir of angels I hear? Apparently someone borrowed it and forgot to return it.
10:00 Get a call from band teacher offering to bring mics over but for some reason I can hear him and he can't hear me on the phone.
10:10 Another class comes in. Squirrely as ever. They're excited for the concert, and parties are coming, and Christmas is coming, and, and, and.
11:00 Here comes another class. I've got this one. At least I don't have to sing those bug songs again. Teaching normal lessons and not rehearsing for a concert is a nice break.
11:30 Library comes to class again with second mic. Yes! I am not going nuts. I did return those mics last year. It is not my fault. I feel a lot better.
11:40 One of my main characters not acting right, informs me he puked all weekend and wants to go to the nurse. Ends up going home. Another student same class informs me the same thing and goes home too, (I think.) Great!
11:50 Must eat lunch. Hope I can find enough time to get those cords taped down and mics hooked up. Snarf down lunch.
12:10 Hook up mics, but wait! Why isn't this mic jack working. What!!!!! I don't need this right now. Must send email to librarian. She's good at saving the day.
12:20 Here comes another class. Here we go with bug songs again. I'll be so glad when this concert is over. Librarian informs me all is well with mics. I told you she would save the day.
1:10 Here comes another class. Why does this class have to end at the exact time I need to be in the gym getting ready for our all group rehearsal. Take it easy Darci. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
2:00 I can hear the 1st graders lining up in the hallway. Thank goodness my class's teacher showed up on time.
2:05 Kids are lining up, excited and confused, even though we practiced this a thousand times. What? the music player isn't working. Must find librarian. She is paged, but she is teaching. Oh forget it, we have no time. Plug in the boombox and we will have to mic it.
2:10 Now one of the mics isn't working. Ok kids you'll have to share a mic.
2:15 on - Why is that character out with these characters in costume? She isn't supposed to come out for another two scenes. This speaker, and this speaker, and this speaker are sick? What? Please practice your lines queen bee, you have to have this down by tomorrow! Don't forget to pass the mic back to the boombox teacher so she can mic the song and then pass it back to the kids when it's time for their lines. Everyone, look at the director not at the actors. Special needs student is freaking out on the top riser, thankful for paras to take care of this but very distracting for me and others. Pay attention kiddos. No talking between songs. Guys why are you in the wrong order, we've practiced this a thousand times, today should be no different than any others. What, I forgot to put student names in the scripts the teachers were using back stage, small oversight. Sorry, I'll get that done asap.
3:00 Apparently, teachers got confused about dress attire for concert and parents have gotten mixed messages even though I sent home a flyer about it. It may be interesting to see what kids show up in. Note to self, send ANOTHER flyer home right before concert next year and make sure teachers are crystal clear on dress attire.
3:05 Here's the librarian back to save the day. A sight for sore eyes. Microphone cord replaced and now it is working again. Apparently music player won't read music that has been recorded onto blank CDs. Must track down original. Will have to use separate CD player for one song that has to be on recordable CD because I bought it off of itunes. Rest of music can be played from big sound system, not ideal, but we can make it work.
3:20 Bus duty
3:25 Deliver scripts back to teachers with names of speakers written in like they requested. Reassured by a teacher it will be all be ok tomorrow
3:30 Shut it everything down and pray tomorrow when it's for real goes much better. What are rehearsals for right? Text husband that wine may not cut it. I may actually need some hard liquor and need an advance on it instead of waiting to drink it in celebration of a concert done.
Sigh! LOL. It was a most stressful day, and yet I know when push comes to shove, it's going to be great, bugs and all. No pun intended. There is quite a high you get when it all comes together at the end, but let me say, it is not all peaches and cream getting there. Trying to organize 150 little bodies, songs, speaking parts, costumes, etc. is quite an undertaking. I just hope those teachers can understand that and don't think less of me when I act like a chicken with my head cut off during those rehearsals. I figure the only way to go after today is up. I mean really, could it get much worse? Wait, don't answer that.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Chore chart love and pairing down.
At the beginning of the year I had tried to do a chore schedule that basically had us all doing a little each day. It was marvelous and worked really well for several months. Then, the holiday season hit, and parent teacher conferences, and after school professional development, and, and, and. Needless to say, it got to be impossible to keep up with the schedule. I knew it was time to retire the idea that we could do something everyday.
One day I happened to run across this blog of a woman who is a professional organizer. She had several suggestions to help get control of your home. One of the biggest problems she sees families have is they have too many clothes for their children. This was true of us. The funny thing is, most of it wasn't bought by us. We are blessed that we are given a lot of hand me downs from good friends of ours. So much of it is very nice, that it just felt wrong to get rid of any of it. However, I knew that this lady was totally right. Too often, B would come ripping out of her room saying things like, "I have nothing to wear!" This always baffled me because when I'd pull out her under bed storage her drawer was OVERFLOWING with clothing. What she really should have said was, "There is so much here, I have not idea how to go about putting together an outfit."
So....I accepted the challenge of pairing down the girls' clothes no matter how painful it was to say goodbye to some outfits. I did compromise a little. Nine outfits seemed a little skimpy to me. After all, if I get behind on laundry we need to have a few more than two back up outfits. AND....if someone stains or rips clothing, having a few extras isn't a bad idea. So, we put together enough outfits to fill one underbed storage bin. This amounted to 12 outfits. I also allowed them to keep 5 dresses. This was a huge cut back for us. By the time we are said and done we had filled one HUGE trashbag and one small trashbag of clothing. The kids no longer whine about not having any outfits because they are all organized and easy to find and put together.
The second thing I found on this lady's website was a chore chart. At first glance it seemed a little too detailed and like an insane amount of chores, but after some thought I realized this lady was on to something. I had been stressing over some things lately and this felt like the perfect solution. B had forgotten her backpack 2 days in a row. K forgot her waterbottle. The kids kept leaving their stuff in the van and I kept forgetting to remind them to take it out. I was constantly having to remind them to pick up after themselves in the hallway. Sometimes we would forget which night was bath night. I'd forget to have them empty their school bags of important info. The list went on and on. If this was all written down, it couldn't be forgotten.
So, I downloaded the chore chart and tweaked it to fit our family and printed it off. (I added pictures for B since she is a beginning reader). Since I have done this nothing has been forgotten. I no longer have to remind the kids they just check their chart. They know supper won't be served to kids who aren't done with their chores, so there is no nagging. And, we discovered K is a list checker kind of person. You know the type, they get some sort of high getting to make those little check marks. Who am I kidding? I'm one of those people too. So, for now, it is working for us.
Oh, and we did go back to doing our big chores on the weekend, BUT I try to do it all on one day if possible so I still get at least one weekend day to do what I want (which usually turns into a day to have to take care of business of some kind, sigh....).
If you're interested in a chore chart like what we are using. Here's a link to the one I used from Mary Organizes. She really has a lot of great ideas.
http://maryorganizes.com/2014/03/kids-chores-and-routines-checklists/
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