One of the privileges of being a parent of more than one child is getting the front row seat to watching your children grow into two completely different people. It fascinates me how to people from the same womb and gene pool can be so completely different. It affirms to me the presence of a divine creator. How fun it must be for God to create each person so different, so uniquely....them. How proud he must be when he finishes knitting us together in our mother's womb. I imagine him sitting back and saying, "I created her. Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she beautiful?"
My girls were spitting images of each other at birth. You could hardly tell the difference between their baby pictures. I suppose that created an illusion that they would be very similar personalities to me. I was wrong. I know they are going to change infinitely from this moment throughout the rest of their lives. However, at this time I find it completely interesting how differently they process emotion.
Neither of my girls bottle up emotion. Kadyn is soooo much more verbal with her emotions. Her first instinct is to mouth off and get angry and then later feel hurt and want comforted. Perhaps Brennan will begin to be more verbal as she ages. After all, she's only two and in the throes of learning how to talk. However, I have noticed that despite her lack of words to express herself, her first instinct is rarely anger. She literally gets sad. You can see it written all over her body language. She hangs her head low, drags her feet, and tries to weep silently. Kadyn can wake up an entire neighborhood with her crying. Brennan does it so gently and sorrowfully. The kind of sadness that makes you want to cry right along with her. Kadyn needs to be put in a room to work out her emotions all on her own. She has to calm down so she can be rational and then talk them out with Mama. Sometimes I can let Brennan work out her emotions in her crib and sometimes that doesn't work at all. Sometimes she has to be held and calmed down to talk through them with Mama.
I'm not sure how much of this is developmental or uniquely just how God designed my girls. All I know is that it has been an interesting journey and it makes me curious what it means for their futures. I know God has a divine plan for each of them. I can only imagine that their differences are there for a reason. They are there as part of a plan to fulfill his will. Perhaps Kadyn's strong will will prepare her to take some hard knocks and come out on top, or fight some good fights and never back down. Perhaps Brennan's gentle soul will help her provide comfort for others who are in need. I wonder if they will become part of their spiritual gifts. I love imagining why God creating them the way he has. The possibilities are endless.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
A few moments
Here are just a few moments we caught on camera. The first is the girls very intrigued by Dada making a chocolate peppermint shake.
Then we have Bren caught red handed trying to use Mama's computer. My little mini me.
Then we have Kadyn sporting some her new (or slightly used) K-State gear Dada won for her on ebay for next to nothing.
Of course no one can ever see too many pictures of a messy two year old.
Then there's cowgirl Bren. A sight we have around here often. The last one is my favorite. Jeff caught her admiring her cowgirlness in her barbie mirror. This shot is so clever.
Then we have Kadyn sporting some her new (or slightly used) K-State gear Dada won for her on ebay for next to nothing.
Christmas Art
We make so many crafts in this house that there's no way I can keep them all. I always try to make a habit of keeping the best and taking pics of the rest before I toss them. Here's a bit of what we did in December and a few more. In case you can't decipher the group pic it includes a cotton ball lamb, nativity scene, decorated Jesus, hand/footprint angel, toilet paper roll angel, snowflake, popsicle stick christmas tree, candy cane ornament, and star ornament.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Witness
This week has been one of a kind. I won't go into too many details to protect the privacy of those involved, but I just want to say that I never in my wildest imagination expected for God to use me in the way he has this week. It has been a frightening, eye opening experience. It has made me count my blessings over and over again.
On a side note, there were many things that went on leading up to today. But today for the first time in my life, I witnessed to a man on the phone. He was in a very dark place in his life. It scared me and frightened me. I didn't know what to do, but I made a decision to weather the moment with him and then God completely took over. I didn't realize at the time, but I was witnessing to him. Words were just flowing out of my mouth so easily and I knew deep down that it was exactly what he needed to hear. I ended the conversation literally shaking from head to toe. I was about in tears. Now I feel completely drained and emotionally exhausted. I worry for him and his family and yet I know God has it all under control. I realize God has me exactly where he wants me and needed me this week for his glory. I wonder why God chose me to do this today. I feel humbled and yet in awe of the power I experienced today. I just want to give him all the glory for there is no way I could have said the things that came out of my mouth today all on my own so smoothly and freely.
Witnessing is something I have always felt uneasy about. Because of certain people in my life, I have always been worried that bringing things up that are spiritual in nature will turn people away rather than bring them to Christ. I am afraid I will come off being "preachy." I have chosen to be a witness by the life I live and the example I set. About the only verbal witness I have ever done or felt comfortable doing has been with my children. I feel completely responsible to them to make sure they understand their creator and have a relationship with them. But when it comes to other people, I have never felt the calling. Now I sit here and think. Did I plant seeds today? Will they sprout? I can only pray.
My Thank you Lord for getting me through this day and week. I still sit back and reflect in complete shock, awe, and amazement. I am so blessed by you. I am so in awe of you. I am so glad you are able to use me to help others. I lift this family up to you as the storm they are weathering right now is far from over, but I know you have them in the palm of your hand. Thankyou!
On a side note, there were many things that went on leading up to today. But today for the first time in my life, I witnessed to a man on the phone. He was in a very dark place in his life. It scared me and frightened me. I didn't know what to do, but I made a decision to weather the moment with him and then God completely took over. I didn't realize at the time, but I was witnessing to him. Words were just flowing out of my mouth so easily and I knew deep down that it was exactly what he needed to hear. I ended the conversation literally shaking from head to toe. I was about in tears. Now I feel completely drained and emotionally exhausted. I worry for him and his family and yet I know God has it all under control. I realize God has me exactly where he wants me and needed me this week for his glory. I wonder why God chose me to do this today. I feel humbled and yet in awe of the power I experienced today. I just want to give him all the glory for there is no way I could have said the things that came out of my mouth today all on my own so smoothly and freely.
Witnessing is something I have always felt uneasy about. Because of certain people in my life, I have always been worried that bringing things up that are spiritual in nature will turn people away rather than bring them to Christ. I am afraid I will come off being "preachy." I have chosen to be a witness by the life I live and the example I set. About the only verbal witness I have ever done or felt comfortable doing has been with my children. I feel completely responsible to them to make sure they understand their creator and have a relationship with them. But when it comes to other people, I have never felt the calling. Now I sit here and think. Did I plant seeds today? Will they sprout? I can only pray.
My Thank you Lord for getting me through this day and week. I still sit back and reflect in complete shock, awe, and amazement. I am so blessed by you. I am so in awe of you. I am so glad you are able to use me to help others. I lift this family up to you as the storm they are weathering right now is far from over, but I know you have them in the palm of your hand. Thankyou!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
One tough cookie
Bren got flying colors in terms of developoment at her 2 year well visit. She did have an ear infection which I had no clue about. Love it when we happen to discover those by accident. Didn't have to pay a copay for the well visit so I basically got the problem fixed for free minus the four bucks for medicine. It was weird to me that she never complained about her ear. It was later confirmed to me that she must have a very high pain tolerance.
She got two shots. The only thing she said did was say, "Ouch!"
Then she had a hemoglobin test. They pricked her finger and squeezed out 2 vials of blood. She hardly flinched. I distracted her pretty well until about 2 minutes in she finally poked out her bottom lip, her eyes got red, and one lonely quiet tear dripped down her face onto my sweater. Not a peep out of her. Broke my heart. Like I said, she has such a tender, quiet, soft, and gentle spirit. This confirms it to me. She is so brave and so tough.
It's hard to believe sometimes that the girls are related. If that had been Kadyn she would've been crying in complete fear like her life was about to be over. I'm so proud of Bren.
She is in 75% for height and head circumference. Weight is in 50%. Just perfect, my little baby. I love her so.
She got two shots. The only thing she said did was say, "Ouch!"
Then she had a hemoglobin test. They pricked her finger and squeezed out 2 vials of blood. She hardly flinched. I distracted her pretty well until about 2 minutes in she finally poked out her bottom lip, her eyes got red, and one lonely quiet tear dripped down her face onto my sweater. Not a peep out of her. Broke my heart. Like I said, she has such a tender, quiet, soft, and gentle spirit. This confirms it to me. She is so brave and so tough.
It's hard to believe sometimes that the girls are related. If that had been Kadyn she would've been crying in complete fear like her life was about to be over. I'm so proud of Bren.
She is in 75% for height and head circumference. Weight is in 50%. Just perfect, my little baby. I love her so.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Busying Myself
I have been busying myself around the house. Last week was a week of complete purging. I think acquiring new things and replacement things for Christmas just encouraged me to make right the things that have been bothering me for some time. We have been blessing to have gotten many hand me downs when it comes to clothing for the children. I can't even begin to express how big of a blessing this has been. I have hung on to ALL of it until this week. Some of it I never used just because it seem out dated and I'd rather put current clothing on the girls. I had enough clothes to have the luxury of being selective. I'm not sure why I have been hanging onto those out of date clothes since I never used them. I suppose the tight budget we live on creates a little voice inside that urges me to hang onto things just in case.
Anyhow I was so tired of searching for things and digging through things. I made myself bag it up if I hadn't used it in a year and didn't think I'd be using it any time soon. The same rules applied to my closet too. By the time I finished, I had enough to fill up half the van. What a rush that was doing all that. It was a really freeing experience. I really admire people who live on less. Eventually I want to be one of them. Simple really is better.
Sometimes I start my week wondering how in the world I'm going to fill it despite the tedious daily tasks that always keep me busy like preparing snacks, meals, preschool lessons, storytimes, crafts, cleaning, and loads and loads of laundry. I know crazy right? To think I worry about what I will do to stay busy. I must say though, that the kids have been INCREDIBLY easy since little gal has been on vacation. Right now I'm down to one little daycare kid and he is a breeze to watch. A real joy. Kadyn and little man are best friends and they play well most of the day. Bren goes in and out of playing with them and playing on her own. So....I have found a new freedom that has been fun to fill with things like organizing, cleaning, and purging.
So far since we've started taking our vitamins we have only had one person get sick. Currently Brennan has a cough, but it's been mild and no one else seems to have caught it. I don't know if this is a good sign that the supplements are working, if this is due to our playing hooky from church all too often (less exposure), or if it's due to the fact that little gal isn't constantly bringing in new germs (she always seemed to be sick with something). All I know is we are off to a much better start to the year than last year and I really hope it stays that way.
At the end of last year Jeff was given some incredible gifts for being a chamber of commerce ambassador. We have gift certificates to a show, places to eat, free stay at a lodge, free zipline rides, free airline ticket roundtrip, and more. I can't believe how blessed we are to be living in Branson. Never a lack of things to do and living here has definitely had some huge perks. We are on constant staycation. One of our Christmas gifts was season passes to Silver Dollar City. They come with free guest passes so we are trying to talk extended family into coming to see us to take advantage. The passes also entitle us to more discounts on attractions throughout the area. The fun never ends....literally.
Everyday I look at my kids and gush. They are so wonderful. Brennan being at the age she is, makes me want to cry at the thought of her growing up. She makes me laugh and smile constantly. So stinking cute! Kadyn continues to make me marvel at how smart she is. She is starting to read basic sight words pretty easily and getting better at numbers. She can even do a little addition and subtraction. I am really nervous about the new dynamic school will bring to our family. I'm really going to miss her. I have no idea if God has another child in store for our family. But for now, I'm content with waiting to find out which is a first for me. I know now is not the right time. What will be, will be. All we can do is take the necessary steps to try to make it happen, and if it doesn't pan out, I trust he will close that part of my heart that really wants to be filled with a third child.
It's been a good 2010. Looking forward to the rest of 2011.
Anyhow I was so tired of searching for things and digging through things. I made myself bag it up if I hadn't used it in a year and didn't think I'd be using it any time soon. The same rules applied to my closet too. By the time I finished, I had enough to fill up half the van. What a rush that was doing all that. It was a really freeing experience. I really admire people who live on less. Eventually I want to be one of them. Simple really is better.
Sometimes I start my week wondering how in the world I'm going to fill it despite the tedious daily tasks that always keep me busy like preparing snacks, meals, preschool lessons, storytimes, crafts, cleaning, and loads and loads of laundry. I know crazy right? To think I worry about what I will do to stay busy. I must say though, that the kids have been INCREDIBLY easy since little gal has been on vacation. Right now I'm down to one little daycare kid and he is a breeze to watch. A real joy. Kadyn and little man are best friends and they play well most of the day. Bren goes in and out of playing with them and playing on her own. So....I have found a new freedom that has been fun to fill with things like organizing, cleaning, and purging.
So far since we've started taking our vitamins we have only had one person get sick. Currently Brennan has a cough, but it's been mild and no one else seems to have caught it. I don't know if this is a good sign that the supplements are working, if this is due to our playing hooky from church all too often (less exposure), or if it's due to the fact that little gal isn't constantly bringing in new germs (she always seemed to be sick with something). All I know is we are off to a much better start to the year than last year and I really hope it stays that way.
At the end of last year Jeff was given some incredible gifts for being a chamber of commerce ambassador. We have gift certificates to a show, places to eat, free stay at a lodge, free zipline rides, free airline ticket roundtrip, and more. I can't believe how blessed we are to be living in Branson. Never a lack of things to do and living here has definitely had some huge perks. We are on constant staycation. One of our Christmas gifts was season passes to Silver Dollar City. They come with free guest passes so we are trying to talk extended family into coming to see us to take advantage. The passes also entitle us to more discounts on attractions throughout the area. The fun never ends....literally.
Everyday I look at my kids and gush. They are so wonderful. Brennan being at the age she is, makes me want to cry at the thought of her growing up. She makes me laugh and smile constantly. So stinking cute! Kadyn continues to make me marvel at how smart she is. She is starting to read basic sight words pretty easily and getting better at numbers. She can even do a little addition and subtraction. I am really nervous about the new dynamic school will bring to our family. I'm really going to miss her. I have no idea if God has another child in store for our family. But for now, I'm content with waiting to find out which is a first for me. I know now is not the right time. What will be, will be. All we can do is take the necessary steps to try to make it happen, and if it doesn't pan out, I trust he will close that part of my heart that really wants to be filled with a third child.
It's been a good 2010. Looking forward to the rest of 2011.
2011 Goals
Here's mine:
-potty train Brennan
-get Kadyn to sit still during meals (I'm tired of watching her fall out of her chair and then hearing about it for the next 5 minutes)
-make some impact on our debt even if it is only small
-save some money
-make some important decisions instead of stewing over them
-continue to find vegetarian meals the entire family likes
-get back to exercising ( the holidays have done me in)
-grow more vegetables this year than last
-get a dishwasher motor that actually works right or just accept that it will ALWAYS be noisy!
-see my parents at least once this year, if not twice (this one is tough as we can no longer afford to fly 4 of us to CO) For us this means meeting up at GC or my parents flying out to see us.
-continue to sew for my family, others, and myself (my outlet)
-work with Bren her alphabet, counting, etc.
-continue to place importance on going on date nights (we had the most we've ever had since kids last Fall)
-find a way to get through day one of my little girl's first day of school (I have been dreading this for some time)
-pack lunches for said girl everyday that are healthy, yummy, and not too repetitive.
-keep our closets organized (finally got them organized to my liking, now to not overfill them again)
-continue to schedule quiet time with God
-keep growing my hair out
-continue to think of fun little outings for the family and follow through on them
-continue to let go of worry that tends to consume me when I don't actively keep it in check
-get Bren to eat with a utensil and drink from a regular cup WITHOUT me. I have totally dropped the ball on this one. She can do these things without me, but too often I jump in and help to save myself a big mess to clean up.
-transition Bren to a big girl bed.
-go camping again.
-learn how to can
-memorize scripture. (I really stink at this)
-be more of a 'yes' mom (stealing this one from another blog)
As I read through this I must say I'm pleased to see the word "continue" in many of my goals. I must be on the right track. This past year has really been a year of healing. The first year in Branson was tough. I had a lot of insecurities about finances, my parenting, myself, etc. I'm happy to say, God has really worked with me on all of these and I feel a lot of peace right now with where I am and where we are as a family. I see God's hand in everything and couldn't be happier. I have no clue what lies ahead, but for once, I don't feel uneasy about not knowing. It's a jouney, and I'm enjoying the ride.
-potty train Brennan
-get Kadyn to sit still during meals (I'm tired of watching her fall out of her chair and then hearing about it for the next 5 minutes)
-make some impact on our debt even if it is only small
-save some money
-make some important decisions instead of stewing over them
-continue to find vegetarian meals the entire family likes
-get back to exercising ( the holidays have done me in)
-grow more vegetables this year than last
-get a dishwasher motor that actually works right or just accept that it will ALWAYS be noisy!
-see my parents at least once this year, if not twice (this one is tough as we can no longer afford to fly 4 of us to CO) For us this means meeting up at GC or my parents flying out to see us.
-continue to sew for my family, others, and myself (my outlet)
-work with Bren her alphabet, counting, etc.
-continue to place importance on going on date nights (we had the most we've ever had since kids last Fall)
-find a way to get through day one of my little girl's first day of school (I have been dreading this for some time)
-pack lunches for said girl everyday that are healthy, yummy, and not too repetitive.
-keep our closets organized (finally got them organized to my liking, now to not overfill them again)
-continue to schedule quiet time with God
-keep growing my hair out
-continue to think of fun little outings for the family and follow through on them
-continue to let go of worry that tends to consume me when I don't actively keep it in check
-get Bren to eat with a utensil and drink from a regular cup WITHOUT me. I have totally dropped the ball on this one. She can do these things without me, but too often I jump in and help to save myself a big mess to clean up.
-transition Bren to a big girl bed.
-go camping again.
-learn how to can
-memorize scripture. (I really stink at this)
-be more of a 'yes' mom (stealing this one from another blog)
As I read through this I must say I'm pleased to see the word "continue" in many of my goals. I must be on the right track. This past year has really been a year of healing. The first year in Branson was tough. I had a lot of insecurities about finances, my parenting, myself, etc. I'm happy to say, God has really worked with me on all of these and I feel a lot of peace right now with where I am and where we are as a family. I see God's hand in everything and couldn't be happier. I have no clue what lies ahead, but for once, I don't feel uneasy about not knowing. It's a jouney, and I'm enjoying the ride.
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