As promised...new house pics

As promised, here are pics of our house, mostly settled (with a few things out of place).  We might be setting up a bunk bed in Kadyn's room which is why there are no pics on the big wall.  Brennan was all too happy to pose for the kid room pics.  The living room will have different furniture, a throw rug, and window dressings eventually.  The main thing is, we are moved in, we have room to grow, and we are loving our new home.  We are blessed.  I didn't bother to post basement pics.  Nothing to see there except boxes, an extra bed, and a little play area I set up for the kids.  It will be finished several years from now.

Thought provoking

I watched a movie, Food Inc.  Maybe you've heard of it.  Maybe you've seen it.  If you haven't, let me just give you a quit synapsis of the basis of the movie.  A reserach reporter set out to find out where all of his food originated from.  During this process he was disturbed to find out that the animals we eat are treated very unhumane.  No news really, right?  For those of my readers who grew up in Southwest Kansas, we are very familiar with the beef industry and seeing the sights of thousands of cows standing up to their knees in their own manure.  THAT I can stomach.  However, (and I realize that the movie probalby honed in on the worst of the worst) I was really caught off guard when I saw footage of lame cattle being poked, prodded, and pushed by case tractors to the point of making them roll head over heels, so that they could get them into the slaughter house to be butchered. 

I had no idea that all the chickens we eat are kept in complete darkness 24/7.  They are fattened so quickly that their bones can't keep up with the weight they are carrying around and they can only move a few steps at a time and then collapse in complete exhaustion.  Many die and are plucked from the pins of thousands and thrown into a trash bin.  Many animals, even diseased animals, are still butchered and processed.  Some plants actually wash the meat in amonia to kill the ecoli rather than just letting the cattle graze on grass for 5 days before slaughter to help kill off up to 80% of ecoli.  The pigs are placed in a holding pen and a then this big metal wall comes at them knocking them off of their feet and pushing them into the slaughter area. Don't even get me started on the sound of their squeals. It was complete fear.  They sounded so human like.  My heart raced when I watched this, and my eyes teared up.

Some companies have put a patent on seeds used in crops that have been genetically altered so that they will not die when sprayed with roundup.  Many farmers are heavily policed by these companies and the companies will ruin them should they make one wrong move with the product.  This was all very confusing to me and I would actually be interested in hearing more on this from an actual farmer.

Needless to say, it was very thought provoking.  The only way around this beast is to buy our products locally where we know animals are treated humanely and the crops are done in a more natural way.  However, these products are so much more expensive.  So where does that leave a person on a low budget who doesn't mind taking up the cause.  I thought a great deal about this.  Although, I don't think I could ever go entirely vegan.  I suppose I could support the cause by using less meat.  By cooking more meals without meat.  After a little more research on my part, I realized the great health benefits in cooking without meat and it actually sounded like a fun little adventure.  Now I'm pumped up to give it a try.  I couldn't and wouldn't force my entire family to give up meat because of a movie I saw, but I could and would cook more often without it if it improved the health of our family. 

So....for the next couple weeks I'm going to give it a try.  Next week I have planned four meatless meals which include a lot of beans, pasta and sauce, and tofu.  Wonder if it'll be any good.  I'm a little stoked I must say.  A new fun experimental phase for me.  Maybe I can actually loose a few pounds in the process.

Dear Santa....

This year I would like:

1.  New plates with color (square shaped)
2.  Pressure cooker
3.  Food processer
4.  Night stands
5.  Area rug
6.  Decorative couch pillows
7.  Fun house shoes
8.  gift cards to get shoes and clothes
9.  A slimmer body
10.  motivation to work out


(of course not all but some would be nice)

Sincerely, Darci

PS feel free to share your lists with me.  I thought it would be fun to see what other people my age are asking for Christmas

At 12:15 a.m.

"Waaa waaaa!"

Brennan is up....I think?  Drag myself out of bed.  Oh, it's Kadyn.

Rubbing her eyes, "I have to go pee.  Waa waaa!"

Me, "OK well get on the toilet.  Shhhh stop crying.  We don't want to wake sissy.  Shhhh Shhhh! (desparately hoping Brennan doesn't wake from all the crying) Did you pee in your panties?  Shew?  They're dry."

OK child is wiped back to bed now, you're really tired.

"I have a ougieuir oiroigek.Waaa Waaa!"

"What?  Shhhhh"

"I have a alkdio fijoije on my shirt.WAAAAA!"

".....pause....you have a tear on your shirt?  Well that's fine it will dry soon enough."

"Waaaaa.  WAAAAA!   No I need a new shirt."

"Kadyn look at me.  You have ONE tear on your shirt.  It will dry just as soon as you fall asleep.  You need to go to sleep.  You're really tired.   Don't worry about that tear.  Shhh shhhhh SHHHHHH"

"Waa waaaa!  My nose is running.  I need a hankie.  WAAAAA!"

Tearing off some toilet paper, "Here use this."

"No I need a Hankie.  WAAAAA!"

"Here use my shirt, it's the same as hankie.  Shhhhh shhhhhh shhhh!  Don't wake sissy.  Now get back in bed."

"I need my bear. Sniff, sniff, sniff!"

"Here you go.  Kiss, kiss.  goodnight.  Get some sleep." 

Thinking to myself as I walk back to my room, "Man I hate it when I forget to remind her to use the bathroom BEFORE she goes to sleep.  Sure will be glad when Jeff gets back.  He always fills in where I fall short"

Ummm yea. Need to work on that.

Over the past couple months it has become blaringly obvious that Brennan is just different then Kadyn in the "gentle department."  Shortly after Kadyn's first birthday I started babysitting a newborn named Will.  Kadyn adored Will.  She hovered over him trying to kiss him and pet his head ever so softly.  It was so endearing to see a little girl who was practically still a baby herself be so loving and kind towards another baby.

Today I had a playdate with a new friend for the first time.  She has a 3 month old child.  Brennan was very intrigued by this baby.  I held her back for awhile afraid she would clobber her and then decided to show her how to be gentle and let her get a chance to give it a try.  She has never been around little babies really.  She crawled right over to the baby and gave her a big "b!*#!" slap.  I was MORTIFIED! 

I suppose I should've seen it coming as Brennan has been clobbering Kadyn lately.  She has taken hard toys and tried to bang them on Kadyn's head. Poor Kadyn.  As I was laying on the couch the other day she came over and clobbered me in the head with a toy too. Then there was a week ago she was sitting her exersaucer and pulled one of her toys back which then flung forward and hit Kadyn in the eye (thus Kadyn's first black eye) I don' think she realizes that what she is doing hurts. I don't think she is trying to be mean, she is just very young and doesn't understand. Obviously I have a very different child on my hand.  This is new territory for me.  I've got my work cut out for me.  Little stinker.

On this day.....part two.....

Today is the day.  Today my little baby turns one.  No longer an infant but classified a toddler, although there is no toddling taking place.....yet.  I'm sure it's just around the corner.  She is pulling up on everything and cruising like a pro these days. 

It's weird to me how during the course of the first year as I introduced new things to my baby, I would catch myself wondering if she'd ever be able to get the hang of things.  Could she learn her sippy cup in time to wean? Could she start chewing table food so I could do away with expensive baby food by the age of one?  Could she learn to sleep through the night without nightly nursings?  The list could go on, but somehow, as if by magic, she slowly began to accomplish all I had set out for her to do by this day.  Yes, my little girl is growing up right on schedule.  And now, knowing that she is no longer this helpless little infant, instead of wondering if she will walk or talk on time, I catch myself wanting her to hold off just a little longer, so I can hang on to the glimpse of the baby she once was.

At the same time, I am so eager to see her personality grow as she learns to communicate with us better.  I wonder how this coming year will show us more of what makes Brenann...Brennan.  What I can tell you now, is that she is certainly more vocal than Kadyn ever was at this age.  Kadyn would always say her little babbles in such a sweet endearing tone. Brennan can have her moments, but often times it is so much more forceful.  She LOVES to point at everything and say, "Ga?"  "Gaga?"  She is Daddy's little girl always calling his name and high tailing it over to him the moment he walks in the door.  She pulls up on his pants and holds her arms out for him to pick her up.  It melts my heart to see such adoration for her father.  He, of course, eats it all up.

When Brennan was first born, sleeping was so easy.  Even well into the first six months, sleep training for the girl seemed to be a cinch.  However, the last 6 months have been very trying in this department. I just can't read Brennan sometimes, like I could Kadyn.  Kadyn was such a scheduled baby.  Brennan is a free willy. This may be, in part, to my parenting.  I am a classic case of an overprotective mother who chilled out when baby number two came along.   News flash, the world does keep on going if my baby doesn't go to sleep at the same time everyday:)

Brennan is such a cuddly child.  She loves to bury her head in your chest and then pop up and grin from ear to ear.  I just melt whenever she does things like this. She really seems to have a great sense of humor.  Her little chuckle is my favorite sound in the world.   I can't wait to hear the funny things she will say that I know will come later in her second year and early third year.  I have a feeling she is going to be a real corker.

Unfortunately, one thing that has become clear to me throughout this first year is that my darling baby has no patience, like her mother.  I predict she may be a little bit more of a challenge as a teenager.  Time will tell I suppose.   

It will be interesting to see what squabbles erupt this year as Brennan comes into her own as a playmate for Kadyn.  The two of them get along great most of the times, but Brennan has become more vocal as time goes on if she is displeased in any way with her sister.  This next year could prove to be yet another trying year on my patience I suppose.  I would be kidding myself to think that it would be any easier.

All in all this year has seen all the typical developments a normal child experiences in the first year of life.  The only thing that sets Brennan's first year apart is that she is our child and has her own personality.  I love her so so much and can't wait to spend the next 17 years of her life with her in our home.  Although it sounds like a long time, judging by the how quickly this last year went, it will be gone in the blinking of an eye.  Perhaps if I will myself not to blink, it will last just a little longer.

Anyhoo.....happy birthday my little one!  I can't imagine my life without you.  I love you Brennan.  

P.S.  We had a small party for Brennan one week ago with my family here at the house.  I attempted to make cupcakes that looked like ladybugs, but they turned out pretty crazy looking.  It was a nice, small, party.  Brennan LOVED her cupcake and enjoyed taking all the tissue paper and presents out of the gift bags.

On this day....part one

On this day at 5:30 p.m. one year ago I went into labor on my own for the first time in my life.  It was such an exhilarating experience.  It was exactly how I imagined it.  At first I didn't realize what I was feeling, but it became obvious as the contractions grew stronger.  It was such a great feeling to go home after my water aerobics class was done and say, "I think this is it!"  It was cute to watch a frantic husband run around the house getting things ready for our departure.  It was fun to yell out "here comes another one" as Jeff recorded each and every contraction on paper so we would be sure they were spaced out correctly because we wanted to be admitted to the hospital.

It was funny to creep into the emergency room at 12:30 a.m. and see the front desk operators ask me if I needed help and then see their expressions as I moved my coat out of the way and they could see my big bulging belly.  At that point they quit asking and said, "Yes, you do need help."  They ran to get me a wheel chair.  It was funny to remember how Jeff and I got lost on our way to labor and delivery.  He was such a man as he refused to ask for directions and tried to juggle a suitcase, overnight bag, boppy, and pillow, while pushing me in the wheel chair. I finally asked a passing doctor how to get there.

It is funny that I actually thought it might be a quick process this time since it was my second, and two friends before me barely made it to the hospital before they delivered.  Little did I know I was in it for the long haul.  The whole process beginning to end took 22 hours and that was with the help of a little pitocin to keep things moving.

Then there were the scary times when we almost lost the heartbeat and I freaked out.  I swore I was going to have a repeat birth of my first.  All the waiting to go into labor on my own so I could experience a normal birth would be for nothing.  A repeat cesarean that I could have just scheduled would have saved me all the labor, but God answered my request and allowed me the birthing experience I longed to have the next day at 3:15 p.m.  It was sooo worth it.  I will never forget that moment.  It is etched in my memory for all time.  The moment they laid her in my arms completely raw.  She was screaming, slippery, and squirmy, but she was beautiful.  "Look at those chubby cheeks" one of the nurses exclaimed.  It was love at first sight.  She was, of course, huge....9 lb 4 oz (and a week early I might add).  She was my perfect little angel.

So many wonderful memories of my little girl's entry into this world began on this day one year ago.  Right now as I look at her pulled up on our entertainment center bopping up and down to a song with a big grin on her face,  I can't help but wonder how time escaped me so quickly.  I'm reminding myself to seize each moment.  They all pass too quickly. I'm so blessed to have her in my life.  I'm so in awe of the life God has granted me with her as part of it.  He has entrusted me to care for two perfect little human beings.  I know I have let him down on occasion, and I pray that he will give me strength, wisdom, patience, and love that only our creator can give to honor him and make him proud.  I realize that I only get to borrow my little ladies for a short time, and then he will use them to fulfill his will as young adults.  Until then, I pray that I instill in them understanding, love, and acceptance of the one who loves them most.  I pray that they will always trust and confide in the almighty.  I pray that all hope, strength, and perseverance comes through him.  I hope they understand the great gift of forgiveness that has been given to them through his son. I pray that they would love him first.  I pray that they would seek friendship in others who will encourage and lift them up in Christ and they will do the same for their friends.  I pray that they would seek a mate that will honor them as Christ honors the church.  I pray that their marriage will be united through Christ and that he would always be the head of their house.  I pray that God would grant them the blessings of their own children.  I pray that they would be modest, seeing the beauty that is within them and not focus on the things of this world but set their sights on the things above.

As life moves on I realize just how big the responsibility is that has been given to me through my two children. I know that I will screw up. I know that I'm not perfect.  I have never felt and will never feel worthy of the blessings God has given me, but....I know because of his love, he will fill in where I fall short.  He will uplift me when I am down.  He will carry me when I feel I can not go on.   He will forgive me even when I knew better. He will always always be there with me every step of the way.  So....thank you God.  Thank you for the miracle of my little girl who turns one tomorrow.  Thank you for all you have done, given to me, and will give and do for me in the future.  I owe my all to you.