I want to do it too!

My friend Sarah posted 75 things you may or may not know about her and I thought it was such a neat post. I began to wonder, could I possibly come up with 75 things about myself? Am I that interesting of person. So here goes. Thought this would be fun. Hope you don't mind if I copy the idea Sarah. I had fun reading yours.

#1 I'm a homebody although being a mom has made me less so
#2 I love to watch "sex in the city" but feel guilty watching because it isn't exactly wholesome
#3 I love animals but have found that love lessen since I've had my daughter
#4 I wish my relationship with my sister was tighter
#5 I struggle with giving enough of my personal time to God everyday
#6 My second pregnancy has been a lot more emotional for me than my first by far
#7 I almost didn't go through with marrying Jeff on my wedding day, thank the sweet Lord in heaven I did! I'm so lucky!
#8 I have a masters in education that took me only one year to complete but I always feel a little guilty about because it was one of the easiest masters programs to complete so it's not something I like to brag about often. I did it for the pay raise (which I enjoyed for a grand total of one year)
#9 I really wanted three children but am on the fence now whether this next one will be our last
#10 My favorite color is yellow, no blue, no yellow, no blue, I can't decide
#11 I have never desired to have a fancy car, only practical ones
#12 Patience is the area in my life I struggle with the most
#13 In my life I have had the following pets: a horse, a dove, a parakeet, several hamsters, a guinea pig, a couple rabbits, toads, tons of fish, dogs, cats, a gazillion crickets and grasshoppers, ducks, a newt, and a rat.
#14 I still would like to own a cockatiel (spelling) someday but Jeff won't let me
#15 I once locked my keys and my guinea pig in my car on easter day in Great Bend on my way back to college
#16 I took a group of students to Branson to open up for the Haygoods
#17 I taught private violin lessons for over 10 years
#18 I conducted a group of young orchestral players during half of my college days called "The Silver Orchestra" It was a learning orchestra to prepare kids for the "The Gold Orchestra" conducted by my college professor. The Gold orchestra played at Carnegie Hall. I was paid for this and was the first college student to ever take over the orchestra
#19 The Silver Orchestra experience may very well be one of the only reasons I was able to get a job teaching for the Blue Valley School District of KC.
#19 I have mixed emotions about going back to teaching when my kids are older, but can't imagine anything else that would make me happy
#20 I love my fish tank. It is one of my hobbies and my goal is to have two more big tanks someday, 75 gallons, 100 gallons perhaps?
#21 I have only been out of the US 3 times, each time to Mexico
#22 I never wanted to travel much before kids, but sure am looking forward to traveling now that I have them
#23 I have seen all kinds of canyons and terrain on horseback
#24 My most disliked body part is my nose, I have always obssessed about how ugly it is and used to be convinced that boys wouldn't like me because of it, my huge thighs come in second
#25 I had to take accutane in college because my acne got out of control
#26 I don't care to repeat college at all. I took it very seriously and didn't allow time for much fun. It wasn't easy for me but I did very well.
#27 I think making friends is difficult, especially as an adult
#28 I have never had the confidence to speak out in a group ever until I became an adult
#29 I see a lot of myself in my daughter's personality. She clams up in large groups.
#30 I like cleaning everything but bathrooms, yuck!
#31 If my house is messy, I feel out of control but have let loose of this control a little since children have come
#32 I hate the behavior of a pack rat! If you don't use it, toss it! Clutter is your worst enemy.
#33 I have finally gotten rid of my skinny pants. I want to loose weight but am OK with never getting back down to that size because babies change your body forever and I refuse to be a slave to my weight. I want to be a healthy weight, not a drop dead gorgeous weight.
#34 I'm excited about the possibility of having a boy and scared as "#@$*#%"
#35 I'm scared that my kids will all live far away like I do from my parents, I want to be part of their adult lives more so
#36 I think I've read the entire bible although never in order
#37 I believe in marking in your bible, it helps you know what you've learned and were thinking at the time
#38 I think end times are near
#39 I like hearing about prophecy as it relates to current world events and end times
#40 I really don't enjoy reading the old testament at all, it's like pulling teeth in some chapters
#41 I get really jittery when I pray in public and get angry with myself because I obsess over saying things the right way in my prayer rather than just letting it flow from my heart like I do when I pray in private.
#42 I also hate the way I forget to listen to other's prayers because I'm preparing my own in my mind for my turn to pray outloud
#43 I have only been angry with God one time and I felt incredibly guilty about it. It only happened a couple weeks ago.
#44 I learned to ski when I was 5
#45 I love to fish, but hate putting worms on a hook. Bobber fishing is my preference
#46 I have accomplished most of my goals for life: get married, get a degree, get a masters, have a career, have kids.
#47 Guess I need to come up with more goals
#48 I love playing my violin but am a wreck everytime I have to do it in public. I have horrible stage anxiety and only do well playing in groups. I am very sensitive about my playing and fear what others think when they hear me
#49 I had to take drugs given to me by my professor to calm my nerves for my senior recital
#50 I really want to visit New York
#51 Sometimes I wish I would have gone through with my ambitions to become a marine biologist like I wanted to when I was a kid (wanted this for 7 years).
#52 I wish I lived closer to the ocean, I really want to snorkel or scuba dive
#53 I would like to ride in a hot air balloon sometime
#54 I love flying, except for the being cramped part
#55 I puked on a plane by myself when I was 7 months pregnant with kadyn and had to carry my own puke bag off the plane. I have NEVER experienced turbulence like that in my life!
#56 I really want to have a VBAC with this baby.
#57 I feel like I have so many blessings in my life that something is bound to happen that is bad or that perhaps I don't deserve them all
#58 I hope my children get as involved in youth group as I did, it changed my life and gave me a sense of belonging in high school
#59 I always used to tell myself that I wanted to marry a youth pastor someday and they had to have a good voice! Ha! Guess things change
#60 I am amazed at what God has accomplished in my husband's life. He has become the man of my dreams! I'm one lucky girl.
#61 I am very close to my mother and the thought of loosing her seems unbearable
#62 I have a huge birthmark over my left ear that used to get hot to the touch when I was angry. It has never bothered me. My mom used to tell me it was where the angel's kissed me.
#63 I am so OK with owning a van and loving it!
#64 I was way too caught up with what others though to me in high school and it still really bothers me if someone doesn't seem to like me or has a problem with me and I don't know why although I can't think of many instances as an adult where that has happened.
#65 I can't go to bed angry. I have to get my feelings out. People will always know the real me.
#66 I'm AWFUL at keeping secrets.
#67 I will not lie, I can't stand not being truthful
#68 I always thought I'd grow up and live in a nicer house than I have lived in so far since I've been an adult.
#69 I do not fear death only being in pain
#70 I wonder how I will die sometimes
#71 I like gardening but only when the weather is good
#72 I would like to have a mini greenhouse in my backyard someday
#73 My favorite food is cookies and pizza
#74 My favorite holiday is Christmas
#75 My favorite season is Spring

I did it. 75 things about me. I don't know if they are really interesting, but they are all me. Thanks for the idea Sarah. That was fun. I think I could keep going, but as you said, 200 things is a lot!

Sibling rivalry, kind of....

While I'm on the subject of discipline, I just wanted to post another entry about another new thing I've been having to deal with that has really thrown me for a loop. Seems as the kids get older (perhaps this is part of what they call the terrible twos) the more I am finding myself dealing less with infantile behavior (don't put that in your mouth, get out of that, don't touch etc.) and more with plain old squabbles. The new increase in vocabulary has brought on a surge of tattle tails. Part of the problem is they always choose their battles carefully, usually when I'm not looking. I think the majority of the time they are telling the truth, however, what I have been able to catch I've noticed proves that both kids are at fault. Usually someone is trying to steal someone else's toy and thus the hitting and pushing begin. Rarely does anyone get hurt, 99% of the time it's all about their feelings.

So anyways, I have developed different tactics to help alleviate the problem. I still haven't solved it 100%, but I think it may be getting a little bit better.

#1 Teach the kids to hang onto their toys for dear life and don't just let someone else take them out of their hands

#2 Tell them to take the toy that's someone else is trying to steal to another spot or room and play with it

#3 Lock them into the same room as yourself so that you almost always see who did what and can catch them in the act

#4 Always reinforce that we share, share, share, share, share

#5 Take the toy away that they refuse to share


#6 Use the concept of taking turns often, ex: "It's Kadyn's turn, you have to wait until she's done playing with it"

#7 If you didn't see it happen, you have a tattle tail, and no one appears hurt just say, "Sorry I didn't see it happen, looks like you're OK though. Go play. (this is most recent tactic and amazingly it has forced them to deal with it on their own) Sure I don't want to let them get away with hitting and pushing, but there's only so much tattle a person can handle for crying outloud.
This one out of all of them has seemed to preserve my sanity and proved to be the most effective, especially if I ask them if they were hit or pushed because they were trying to steal someone else's toy. Amazingly when I ask Kadyn this, she tells me the truth and fesses up to trying to take someone's toy. I usually reply, "Well you shouldn't have tried to take his toy." I turn the responsibility back on the child instead of me always having to mediate the fight.

As frustrating as this all has been to deal with, I keep telling myself that when this baby gets here I will be so prepared for sibling rivalry. Sure the daycare kids aren't brother/sister, but they mine as well be consider how they squabble sometimes.

A new approach

After our trip I have been thinking a lot about how to discipline in public. Sure I know that snacks and toys help, but there are just going to be times when it is necessary and I DON'T believe on giving in just to avoid a scene. Rules are rules regardless of where you are. We had some issues with Kadyn towards the end of our trip which I think were mostly due to her being so tired, but I have always felt that discipline in public is one of my areas of weakness. For the most part Kadyn is well behaved but she has her moments and usually after they are done, I leave a store feeling as though I didn't do as well as I could have.

For awhile my approach has been to threaten time out or a spanking in the bathroom. The problem with this is that the bathroom is always so darn far away. Big stores like Target and Walmart always seem to have their bathrooms placed miles away. I posed the question to other moms on a website I visit frequently called cafemom (which I highly recommend to other moms by the way, you can get ideas and tips for anything from parenting to cooking and cleaning). Anyways, several mothers said they do their time outs right then and there in the middle of the aisle. I'm beginning to think this isn't such a bad idea. I think I'll give it a go. Worst case scenario, we have to spank in the van. Yes, I do believe in spanking, but I reserve it for special occasions so I don't overdo it and it doesn't loose it's impact.

So here's to a new approach. Wish me luck!

Our trip

How can you just pick a few?

Back and exhausted

We're back! I have a gazillion pics from our trip which I need to sort through and decide which ones are the best to post, so pics to come later. Our trip was good. We did so much. We went to the city museum, aquarium, zoo, saw a movie, butterfly place, the mall (2x) and the arch. We also ate at some great restaurants and went swimming twice. It was a jam packed vacation and but a much needed break from life. I wish I could say I feel recharged, but physically I am drained. I walked so more than I have in a long time. I will say however, mentally I do feel refreshed. It was so nice to not have to worry about other people's children and to have someone else clean up after me and cook for me. I'm pleased to say I didn't really even think about the daycare very much while I was down there. I needed a break from all that for sure.

Part of my exhaustion in part is due to my daughter who just could not seem to find a way to unwind at the end of each day. The first night she didn't fall asleep until 12:30. This is very late for a little girl that always goes down at 9:00 like clockwork. I thought for sure that she would nap well the next day, turns out she wouldn't nap the entire weekend. Every night after the first night it took her at least an hour if not more to finally go down. Fortunately she never had a major meltdown but she did have some tearful moments that probably were exacerbated by the fact that she was very tired and we noticed that her cooperation and willingness to behave and do as told was going out the window by the time we left. Tonight I put her down at 8:00. I haven't heard a peep out of her since I closed the door.

I have been having trouble sleeping as the pregnancy progresses and I don't think I would have made it through the trip without the aid of extra strength tylenol to alleviate pain in my left leg while I sleep. I woke up every time it wore off and had to take another to fall back asleep. I had this problem with my first pregnancy but it seems to be worse this time around. It's weird to me that it's only in my left leg. My doctor's nurse doesn't seem to think it is anything I need to worry about so I guess I'll just deal with it until the baby is here. This morning was the worst because once the meds wore off it continued to hurt even when I was sitting up or standing and walking. Usually sitting up or walking takes care of it right away. Ugh! This its looking like the next 5 months are going to be long ones.

So tomorrow I'm back to the ol' grind. I have tried to look at it optimistically thinking, at least I get to stay at home with my little girl. Even though I have come to a point where I am sooo ready to give up this daycare, I still am very thankful that it allows me to stay at home with Kadyn. If I can keep that as my main focus I think I will start looking at what I do in a more positive light. I'm afraid before this vacation I was getting caught up in all the negatives and not celebrating the positives of what I do. Kadyn will indeed benefit from getting back into her routine. So.....here we go again, real life.

Me time

For some time I've been itching to have me time. Jeff seems to do an excellent job of this golfing at least once or twice a week with friends and playing drums at church every other month. My only friends up here just had babies so they aren't in a position to go out and do something together. I kept thinking, what in the world would I do, and where would I go? Although shopping would be great, I don't want to spend the money. Last night I asked Jeff for a favor. We needed to pack for our trip this weekend and I had piles of laundry to do, a fish tank to clean, and the house needed some attention too. Doing all those things with Kadyn in the house takes twice as long. I've noticed my motivation to keep up with normal house chores has been waning because it takes twice as much effort when the kids are up; they are usually under my feet tripping me and getting things out as I am putting them away or littering my rugs with toys while I'm trying to vacuum them etc. By the time Kadyn goes down at night I'm exhausted. So I asked Jeff to take off with Kadyn for a couple hours so I could just get things done.

I put in a Nikka Costa CD and pumped it really loud. Suddenly a new wave of energy came over me. I was a cleaning machine. It felt so liberating to finally have some control. When my house is in disarray I feel in disarray; I feel out of control. I felt like I was finally accomplishing something. I felt like a woman, I felt like an adult. I decided that I had found my "me time." Of course when Kadyn came home she was getting into everything she shouldn't be getting into and I was having to run around after her to keep my clean house from becoming ruined for the last hour before she wen to bed. But after the experience, I told Jeff that I needed at least a couple hours every week to be by myself in my house to clean or maybe on somedays when I feel really burnt out, just sit down on the couch without having someone crawling all over me.

I love my daughter more than life itself, but I really think I have been long overdue to spend time on me. I know I will be a better mother if I do this. I wish I would have made myself do this a long time ago. I think my need for this probably wouldn't be as strong as it is now due to the pregnancy and the daycare. I feel this way because it has only been recently that it has really started to bother me that I never get a break. I often wonder if I was just a mom if I would have this need. All I know is that at the moment I need it, and it looks as though my request will be fulfilled.

Ahh to have a clean house, if only for a couple hours, pure ecstasy.

Funny

Kadyn has gotten addicted to having her owies (spelling?) kissed. They magically feel better when they are kissed. Must be some miracle science can't explain or something. Anyways, Will, one of her daycare buddies fell down and hurt his butt. He started crying and came over and looked at me. His language skills aren't nearly as developed as Kadyn's yet. I asked him if he hurt his hand because he was holding his hand. He replied "no." This left me baffled because Will has always answered no even if what he really means is yes. Kadyn felt the need to interpret. She said, "He hurt his butt!" Then she bent down and kissed it for him a couple times. Magically it felt better, or.....he was just too shocked to be upset about it anymore.